by Julia | Mar 26, 2018 | Our Captured Life
February came n went pretty quickly! We got a few road-trips in, which was so fun again! I just wanted to quick recap with a few fun pictures and some from the ‘BIG TWO’ birthday party. I wish you could see their birthday shirts I got them. I was so happy with the way they quickly handled my personalized order. Here is an idea of what they looked like, with their name n age of course. I also asked that they leave off the Happy Birthday so the boys can wear them all year, which they will love. Anything with a tractor is a win! They liked their cake so much we hardly got a decent picture of it because Buddy just cried every time he saw it n wasn’t allowed to drive the equipment off. Again I photo edited their names out.. 
I know people do these fun themed parties, which are great! But so far I’m just trying to get the cake n gifts under control. Maybe someday when they are old enough to appreciate the details… They thought it was Christmas all over again when they woke up. 🙂 We got them this Touch and Teach elephant and some fun Squigz. Later we also got a LeapFrog 2-in-1 LeapTop Touch, because sissy took hers and two is better than one. I decided to get the updated version and am so happy that I did! I love that the screen lights up and numbers are included. Also, the flip it into an iPad n touch screen are pretty cool features. Some of the other bigger birthday gifts from family were a Stanley tool bench & Lego Duplo Train and shapes puzzles..
At my sisters horse barn, these lil animal lovers were thrilled!
Happy Spring!
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by Julia | Mar 19, 2018 | Foster Care
Ugh, my stomach literally feels upset. Nerves. Today I am packing up my lil big girl and sending her to her ‘new home’. (as we so lovingly call it) Another transition for her. Number seven in just the last two years of her four year old life. Actually, that’s just from the past two years that I have known her, it’s hard to say where all she lived before then.
So she well knows and understands what is coming. It has been a week of trauma unlike I have ever experienced. Tears over basically nothing, whining, upset stomach, questions, resentment, lying, dejectedness, lack of appetite and did I say tears?.. SO grateful for the authority and power we have over these things in Jesus Name. Whew though, sometimes you just want it all to STOP instead of taking the time to stop and guide her through it. I’m the first to admit it wasn’t a pretty week, but God was so good through us in the midst of it all.
The other night after bedtime prayers, as I was tucking the blanket around her; I leaned down close to her face and whispered, “Miss ____, I am so sorry for all that you are feeling right now….. Immediately tears welled up in her little eyes. She knew what I meant without me saying more. We’ve talked about what emotions we feel when we go through certain things. Why she is struggling with everything this week. She asks again, “Does Jesus have power?” “Yep, all you need to do is say Jesus, He is always right there with you and stronger than anything else.” [..just a tiny excerpt of our conversation that followed..]
So yeah, #Glitterbug left again a few days ago. I am truly excited to see her go and begin life with her new forever family and biological Dad. It will be a big transition, but a good one. She hasn’t lived with black culture before and like we learned in training; we can love them and care for them as much as possible, we can never be blood-family-connected or give that to them. [Please don’t misunderstand, I am not against adoption, but that blood connection is something we cannot fill and it’s a huge gift to have family be reconnected. The sole purpose of foster-care by the way.] It is a tremendous gift she will appreciate as she grows older, to be exposed to and get to understand and appreciate that side of her culture. A big loss is to be separated from her brothers she grew up with in the past year, but she is gaining older siblings.
It tore me up today, we did pretty well going through her stuff, packing what she wanted to take along and discussing what’s happening. I leave the room and then hear sobs, almost screaming. “But I just want to go for a visit and come back to you.” So we just hug and cry together. And pray. Again. I keep asking God to redeem this pain in her life and let her be dynamite for Him. To destroy those voices and rejection. To cover her. I know without a doubt, that even though I feel helpless to help her. I have a purpose in her life. Prayer.
Shout out to my in-laws for loving her (and us) so well.. It has been a big adjustment into this foster care life for them. But I cherish these supportive moments. A thoughtful farewell dinner and little party. Sweet touches all around. Flowers specially delivered along with gummy bears the night before. Goodbye hugs without too much emphasis on the why. Last minute play-dates. A book dropped off just in time so she can take her favorite story along. [And if you want a really good book for an interrogative kid, about God in daily life, pick up this book!]
May you always leave a little sparkle wherever you go.
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
Linking up with #TellHisStory
by Julia | Mar 15, 2018 | Musings, When God Writes your Baby Story
The last few weeks I spent quite a bit of time processing something that kinda plopped itself right in front of me. Oftentimes Bible passages speak differently to different people and thats ok, that’s the awesomeness of God’s Word; it meets us where we are and ministers to everyone! So I just wana share a bit how God has been speaking to me thru His Word lately..
So, like most other barren women today, I love the stories in the Bible about the women who were barren, feeling very ‘down & out’, they prayed and prayed. They got their husband to pray for them & some even asked other men of God to pray for them that God would give them a child. God heard their prayer and opened their womb and they conceived! Obviously we don’t always know their Timeline and I am pretty sure they didn’t all conceive during their next cycle. In fact, one account it appears it was 20 years from when they began praying till God opened her womb. However, lately I have been looking at these stories in a lil different way than what you may typically think or immediately presume. I have been seeing a different approach, a deeper connection that these aren’t just for the barren woman of today. If a situation you are in looks impossible, keep reading.
While I would love to say, Look! Every woman in the Bible that was barren, ended up conceiving. So we need only have faith and our story will commensurate to the Bible Stories. I can’t help but realize that there were probably some women back in those times that were barren and died without ever conceiving. And I also know of some godly women today that have never conceived and have peace in being barren. So does that make their stories, their lives, unsuccessful? No, absolutely not! Hang with me……
You see, I’m slowly starting to see that success doesn’t come in us measuring up to the ‘ideal mold of a family’.. success is in God, being able to complete His work in & through us even if it looks different than what we imagined.
So why were only the ones that conceived recorded in the Bible? This is where I may have a lil different view for you. What if those stories were not recorded to give hope to the barren woman? What if the main topic in these stories is not about infertility? What if they were recorded to show to all people, including the barren woman, that God is capable of doing anything. Even if it looks humanly impossible? Nothing is too hard for Him to accomplish. You don’t have to have the ‘picture-perfect life’ in order for God to use you. God has a plan-and when we line up with that plan, there really is NOTHING that can get in the way. God was leading up to the redemption of the world, and to show that it was HIM doing the work, He used the infertile, the poor.. Sara, Rebekah, Elisabeth were barren women that God used to complete His story & bring Him glory! That gets me excited, no matter how impossible your situation may look, God can still 100% complete His plan. I can’t help but think how beautiful that is before God. Having that kind of faith that God can do anything and always holding onto that hope. Matthew 8:5-10
Another thing that I often come across is that barrenness is just way more common today than it was in Jesus’ time because of our unhealthy & sinful standard of today’s world. Yes, I am sure the numbers are a bit more dramatic, sadly. But thankfully God’s power hasn’t changed! And if barrenness wouldn’t have been a common issue back then, I don’t believe that it would have been spoken of so often in the Bible. Everytime it is spoken of in the Bible, it clearly indicates that God is the One who opens and and closes the womb. I sometimes wish it was always as direct as in Ex. 23:25, 26 -“You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will protect you from illness. There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives.”
I firmly believe God wants us to care for our bodies etc….. However I think sometimes we get so stuck in the hard season we are in, be it sickness, miscarriage, infertility, loss, depression, _____(insert yours). We start thinking we cannot be of any use to God until ‘this’ is gone. Somehow without even fully knowing, we get the twisted outlook that our life is worthless, it’s just not measuring up. But God never chalks up a life like that, or a season, as useless, one He can’t do anything with. NOO!! We have our focus on the wrong thing. It’s not about the pain. It’s not about the circumstances. I’m quite convinced God would love if there would be no pain in the world. It’s about who God IS. In our weak and vulnerable times, He invites us. “Come away with Me. Healing will not satisfy you, but I will.” This is not a wasted space in your life, but rather an invitation to be filled. To grow deep roots in Him. Your tree will grow strong and unwavering, loaded with fruit when your root system is deeply hidden in Him. Remember, it’s not about the barren women, it’s about God using redeemed people to complete His story & bring Him glory.
Paul talks about it in a beautiful way, and I think it is so key the way he relates it. The handicap does not come from God, but God can redeem it and use it to bring Him glory. Paul even began seeing it as a gift because he knew that if in his weakness he let Christ take over, He would be strong in Him. I think that is such a beautiful picture. He pleads with God to remove the thorn in his flesh, and then gives it back over to Him. When we allow God to redeem our hardship, people see God alive in our weakness. He gets ALL the glory! God doesn’t always heal, but He always saves and always redeems.
“Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” 2 Cor. 12:7-10 MSG.
This is definitely one of my draft posts and a reality in my life today. I would love to hear your thoughts!
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
Linking up with Grace & Truth and..
by Julia | Mar 8, 2018 | Foster Care
First of all, I forgot to mention we had a lot of snow for about a week in January. Both the amount and the length of time are rare for TN, so we were thrilled!
And because I had birds again this winter!! I just love watching my birds and quite delighted with all the red cardinals. It was not rare to count 20 plus at one time 🙂 Such a beautiful sight, morning sunlight glistening off the snow with dots of red outside, and yes Christmas clings on the window. 
OK, I’m done with the weather.
We got lil miss Glitterbug back soon after the holidays and just before her 4th Birthday. Last year she came to live with us just days after her 3rd Birthday, so I wanted to do all I could to make it special for her. Turns out she was still going thru too many transitional fears and only wanted her party at our house, with no additional guests or gifts. What we have for her is enough she declared. But after excited party talk & explaining the layout of the party to her every day, she finally consented that I could invite a select few of my nieces and in-laws, our family around here. Also she kept lamenting every few days how she never got to see Santa Claus. So I knew I wanted to try to somehow combine a lil Christmas into her party to help her feel celebrated in both, thus the lights.
We kinda have this tradition of waking up to balloons and fun; then calmly celebrating their birthdays at home that night with candles & cupcakes. We have a party with family & friends later. It helps the celebration to go on a lil longer and hopefully avoid an overload of emotions. Having been warned of ‘birthday triggers’ I’m always hoping I’m taking the best precautions in keeping it fun for the kiddoes.
Here’s the thing about trauma.. you can never fully prepare because sometimes a child feels things they never felt before & doesn’t even know what is going on or why they’re upset, but suddenly all their safety flags are up and on high alert. No one is prepared. All we know is that we wanted to sing Happy Birthday. Sometimes what you think you see in behavior, is completely opposite from what is going on inside. Sometimes too much attention is terrifying and not enough is scary. For a child that craves and begs for attention, but then melts down at times when given too much attention – it’s purely exhausting. I’ve learned alot but I’m still learning so much that I hesitate to put too many words out there just yet. But yeah it was a little hard to know how to handle all the emotions that came with it but we decided to err on the side of caution and compassion & understanding. I wish it were that easy everyday…… Like I said, it is exhausting. (or maybe I’m just a lil over-tired right now 😛 ) 
I did have fun with her cake! I couldn’t really find what I was going for so I concocted my own design. She wanted a pink cake, with pink frosting in a heart shape. I only had this pan in a heart shape, that I had picked up at Aldi one day. It leaked out a lil, but worked just fine. I made her my favorite yummy Strawberry Cake. (if you want the recipe, I’ll gladly share) She was so excited because she got to help me make it and lick all the spoons. But then I surprised her with the decorations which she totally loved! I did have her name on the cake but edited it out for privacy. 
We got her a VTech Write and Learn Creative Center for her birthday and a sticker book. Both were great choices and have provided much entertainment for her and her 2 year old brothers. Although I cannot say enough good about the sticker books, I think we both equally love them. She does super well in matching the pictures and words. I was a lil frustrated at first because how is a 4 year old supposed to be able to find the correct stickers for the correct page? But they are all well organized and numbered, I get all the stickers on the couch or table beside her and she can do a 2 page spread alone. 
We spent many hours getting her hair combed out those first few weeks, because they came back in a matted mess. Yes it almost made me cry, her hair is so beautiful! But thankfully, after much diligent searching I found an amazing salon for black kiddoes. She was very helpful and gave me a comb that worked, plus shared lots of other great tips and resources. Seriously, the comb was amazing and I have searched everywhere online and cannot find one like it. But yeah, Crisco and olive oil are actually quite helpful in the hair department. So, after all that pain I allowed her to fulfill a dream; having beads in her hair. 3 hours was a long time, but the smiles and sheer delight in her eyes made it all worth it! She couldn’t stop twirling and saying how much she loved her beads. 
And it’s good-bye to the birthday & balloons… 
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
by Julia | Feb 22, 2018 | Foster Care, Our Captured Life
A New Year always brings hope. Even though we all know we can start new habits, make new plans any day of the year, there is something about January 1 that does it to all of us. Or at least those of us that like to categorize/ organize, there is just something about pulling out that new planner. Which reminds me, I am super excited to try my first Emily Ley planner this year! I’ve been a follower/fan girl for years now. 🙂
2018 just looked like an open year to us…finally. We decided to totally give ourselves space & grace, and focus on security n attachment bonding with our twin boys. I had a some mixed feelings, or like maybe I should feel guilty, but I was mostly relieved and happy knowing we were not taking any new placements for a long time, probably the whole year. We had some other big decisions to make and things to accomplish and I was getting so excited to just.slow.down.
My first goal was to utilize and practice the word “simplify”. One of those ways is getting rid of things that hold sentimental value but just clutter up my house. Another was to shush up some online voices for a lil while and listen more intently to God and my family. Focus on face to face relations first. There are a few things pretty heavy on my heart that I believe God wants me to see through His eyes and hear His heart. And I want to learn how to prioritize my time. Insert here, most of my updates will be through my blog, so if you don’t want to miss a post, please subscribe via email on the top right corner here. I’m sure my Instagram followers have noticed I have not been very active, sorry guys! I’m setting some goals and new habits, I’ll be back! We are so blessed by you, our family and friends close and via social media, that follow and share in our journey. My husband and I don’t want to leave you hanging, we covet your prayers and want to keep you updated. But we also realize that our priority is to be present in our family life first. Blogging is something I love doing and is one of the priorities I want to focus on this year. Dan is always encouraging me to write and so I want to give it a go this year n see if I can hit publish on all my draft posts.. (He always reads my posts and adds or takes away for me 😉 )
My hubby n I have a notebook with goals made for the past few years (not planning on sharing those). But if you want an idea where to get started, please watch Dave Ramsey’s video. He gives 7 steps that make it super easy to start and it really helps! Our goals are very similar to last year. Reading books & saving money seem to be the ones we reach the best. 🙂 I’ve been doing a Word of the Year for a number of years now.. I have been praying about my word for this year and Hope it is! My definition: “A confident expectation that a desire will be fulfilled.” I wasn’t sure what all it entailed when I recently began hoping in who God says that He is..but the more I proclaimed it and studied it, I began to realize there is a huge difference in the world’s view of hope and Biblical hope. The world’s view when using hope is often ‘pretty sure’ or ‘wanting something to be true’. Biblical hope is ‘100% sure’ because it comes from an infallible God. Our hope is in Him not in things or circumstances. Psalm 71:5 For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. I want to keep studying it and truly live my life like that. Everytime I delve into studying it and every day that my faith is shaken, I learn something about this. So I’m really excited to see what all I will learn about it this year.
“For not to hope is to allow something inside of us to die.”
Not gonna lie, January has already really shaken it and I kept hearing this whisper, if all else is taken away, “Am I enough?” It has been rough, but I want to not have to hesitate when I answer that question, that I know without a shadow that IN Him I have all I need. These valleys and painful times seem too much at times but I am so grateful for the growth and intimacy that comes when it is placed in God’s Hands. I don’t tend to thank God for a trial or something that is clearly not from Him, but I am thankful that He allows it & redeems what the enemy meant for evil!
So, back to the daily grind, January 4th we were made aware of an emergency situation with our 3 year old (her nicknames were Divagirl n Glitterbug) that left in November. Due to health issues with her Grandma, they asked us if we would take her back into our home. It feels so broken, but we knew that although it wasn’t the perfect plan, and not the outcome we had wanted for her. It was something where God wanted us to be part of His redemptive work and we welcomed her back into our home on January 9th. It has definitely been a rough couple weeks, we tried to cocoon her just a lil bit to help her unravel the confusion and establish trust again. She is having visits with her newly-established father and so we will help her through the coming transitions. It’s been emotionally hard for me because she’s so grateful to be home with her “Mom” again & I have no idea how I will be able to make her leave again. I have to really work on the truth n not let the ‘I’m abandoning her’ words over-power me.
January we also got hit with the flu, of course! Wiped me out for awhile and left me with no desire to accomplish anything. But, no matter what comes, we will continue to look ahead with excitement and hope for this New Year!
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
Happy Spring!
