June 5th

June 5th

June 5th 2018. this day will forever be etched in my mind as the most miraculous day ever. I still shake my head in wonder when I recall it…..

part of my journal entry–Today may perhaps have been the best day of all our lives as a family. The day that we found out, after exactly 5 years of waiting, that we are PREGNANT!!!! and that, after 2 years of having the boys in our home, the twins’ mom ‘signed papers’ to surrender her rights and give the boys to us for through adoption!!!! So, not only one, but we will be adding three to our family! It feels completely surreal. And I KNOW it is not from us doing anything in particular to make this happen, but 100% the works and Hand of God. It feels like such an incredible break-thru! SO MANY MIRACLES! Seriously, it felt like an out of body experience…like I was living some kind of dream. But all I could say all day was THANK YOU Jesus. You are amazing! Your works are awesome! Psalm 92:4-5. [so many people say, oh yeah, you adopted then God rewarded you with getting pregnant. Here is why I don’t like that comment: All three of our boys are equal miracles and blessings straight from God, one is not a reward for ‘taking in’ the others. They are all a reward and blessing from God for saying YES to Him in utter abandon, trusting Him and putting our hope in Him and not in ‘our doings’.

The night before I thought to myself, hmm, I should take a pregnancy test, I am a few days late. But decided to wait until my husband left for work so that I could deal with whatever feelings I have and then candidly tell him later. As soon as I heard him leave @5am, I took that test, laid it on the counter, went and made my coffee. After a little while I went back in to check on it, and the first time in my life I saw an unmistakable second line. Say whaat?!! I got so shaky I had to sit down. I was completely stunned and speechless. After a bit all I could say was, ‘Thank-you Jesus’! I took a selfie with the test because I though maybe I will send it to my husband and I definitely won’t be sharing that picture. I look like a frightened ghost! lol! I did have to take a few more tests and still I wasn’t sure if it was for real?! I decided against texting him because I wanted to see his reaction and I knew that he wouldn’t believe any ‘fancy way’ of telling him the news. I hid my phone, set up on video and showed him the test when he came home around lunchtime. He reacted about the same way as I did. Completely stunned and speechless, shaky and in shock for a little while! He had absolutely no clue that I was even going to take a test! —Then he was like, “Are you pregnant? Are you serious? Wow. I don’t believe it. Wow. I don’t know what to say. Thank you Jesus.” One of my favorite videos, complete with the one of the boys singing Hallelujah in the background! I’ll be honest that we hardly talked about it much those first few days, because we were like, let’s just go to a Dr. and see if it is actually legitimate before we get too excited.

He had to come home at lunchtime because we had court at 1pm for the twins… there had been talk of their biological mom possibly surrendering her rights and signing them over to us, but you never know what will happen until it actually happens when you are in foster care. Things had been dragging on n on…. And don’t you know. She signed those papers and were in even MORE shock! We were so so thrilled, and kept asking ourselves, Is this even real?! Our cups are waay tooo full and overflowing. It’s too much goodness all in one day!?

SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK, it took a good 3 months before we weren’t still in shock, and many many more until we truly believed it. Up until the day of the adoption and the day the baby was born, we kept asking each other, “Is this actually happening?!” Even though we knew it’s true, we could hardly wrap our minds around it as a reality! Even in the hard times we would proclaim and know it to be true, that GOD IS GOOD, no matter what. Now, getting overwhelmed with tangible blessings–WOW!

Two days after June 5th my best friend told me she was pregnant- being pregnant together was totally a dream we had both longed for! Kenton & Keyondre became Hostetlers on July 27th 2018. December 2018 we moved into our very own home- how that all came about was a complete God-script as well. Jenson was born on February 14th 2019.

2020 We are living our dream come true!

2019 Year Recap & Moving Forward News…

2019 Year Recap & Moving Forward News…

thanks to Mary Kate Photography

Well Hello again, my brain has whipped out so many blog posts, but seemingly my fingers have not connected with the keyboard in order for them to hit publish! Busy mom status I suppose.. But also, am realizing that one has time to do whatever you make a priority and I am shifting some priorities around in the coming year. High on my list of priorities is to live a more relaxed lifestyle – one that actually takes time to do what brings ‘life’ for myself and those things that I save to do “on vacation” and incorporate them into my monthly life habits. In short, these are a few basic ones: #1. Read #2. Write #3. Date my husband. #4. Go do fun things with my kids outside of the daily norm that create memories.

I am the type that I always have a long ‘to do’ list laying around somewhere, that creates a ‘need’ to be working when I am at home. I am not necessarily always working, but my brain can quickly feel overwhelmed or mentally feel like I should be doing something instead of relaxing. Rather than giving myself permission to read/write, I think it is a luxury that I cannot afford, & then I feel depleted. I can rarely truly relax or mentally unplug enough from my lists to allow myself to do something that fulfills & renews me while in my own house. But take me to a coffee shop, or on vacation and I am as free as a bird and can focus, relax, laugh and smile with no care in the world. (what enneagram number am I?!) While on vacation, I will even sit on the couch and watch late night shows with my hubby or make it a goal to write for therapy.  This past December when we were on vacation in Florida the drastic difference became vividly clear to me and I committed to live more of a ‘vacation-mode-lifestyle’ in the comfort of my own home and with those I love the most. Isn’t it funny how when we unplug and take time how things suddenly become obvious and you realize you need more of those moments.

Whoa, I got a bit carried away there… So, year 2019 recap— In the beginning of the year we were settling into our OWN ‘new-to-us’ home and baby Jenson was born on Valentine’s Day. Two incredible life experiences that we had longed planned and dreamed for and were truly answered prayers. We began 2019 still feeling like our cups were full and overflowing and reveling in the abundance of God’s good and precious gifts to us. Perhaps it made us a bit less laser-focused and we started out the year with no specific goals written out and it kind of majorly affected our year. At first it felt like it was all negative and that we were quite ‘purposeless’ and to be honest I don’t think there was a lot of growth. But then (or now, looking back) it actually turned into a good thing of just evaluating where we are and where we want to go. Being a goal-oriented driven person that likes to achieve it was hard for me at times, but I kept sensing that I needed to just be still and trust God in the process of the what seemed like nothing. Because He was working.

We had to make some hard decisions concerning our foster care journey. Tennessee decided to roll out a federal policy that all foster parents must take the flu shot & Tdap vaccine yearly, we struggled, but thought we just won’t think about it and get them. Then we started with a selective vaccination schedule for our baby; which then turned into, No you have to get all of the vaccinations if you want to foster. I had written a long paragraph about how we reached our decision, but deleted it, because this is not about vaccines or to educate you. If you would like to know more you may gladly message me and I will share what I have found. But I feel like if everyone would do ‘real research’ they couldn’t inject their babies with allll of those vaccinations. As pro-life Christians, despite internally fighting it we couldn’t find peace going forward. Our passion has been so much for the foster babies, and I’m just asking God to change it and give me passion for something I can do! Right now we are allowed to care for children ages 6 and above, we will see how it goes if we do get placement in that age range. Until then and in the coming year we will continue to provide free resources for foster families with the Blessing Basket. Hopefully when our children are grown, we can again open up our home to the babies. <3 It breaks my heart, y’all, but the peace is worth it.

When it comes to family and work, it was a complicated season. I settled in being a SAHM, and then started my home-based CBD business, which created some fun and purpose for me, alongside playing with my kids and learning how to keep up with the daily tasks. My husband worked some long hours and God started stirring something within him to make some changes for what he wants to be doing long-term. You’d think having our dream of a forever family would just slide in and make everything be natural. And while it did make it all seem complete, it left us reeling a bit. When you go from having your family dynamic changing every few weeks/months to planning for 10 years down the road…. It feels completely new and overwhelming. Obviously this is what we wanted and still do, but I literally felt like we have no clue what we are doing. Like, what is the use of getting dogs for your kids if they will leave next year? Why would we want to start a farm if we maybe wanna move out west..(something that was definitely in our hearts if we weren’t going to have a family soon..) Why would we start taking yearly family trips if the next year we go and it causes a dull ache because the babies aren’t with us anymore? Is having a bunch of animals or outdoor work what we want in a few years, what if we have all girls? Should we continue with a fudge business, or perhaps we will have all boys that need to be outdoors? Our life scenario could completely change with a moments’ notice and we probably shouldn’t have made long term plans/ goals for them to be shattered at our feet. I’m not just talking about slight changes, but drastic changes where your whole family dynamic completely shifts!! To give you a slight glimpse, we went from having 2 little 18month+ girls to 0 children. A 10month old boy then a few weeks later twin 4 month old boys. Zero kids. Then, bam! Four kids; a newborn, twin 11 months olds and a 3 yr old. Suddenly our life consisted of solely caring for babies and a farm would have been way too much for me to look after yet too. —I hope this helps you understand just a little bit of what I am trying portray when I say that a forever family suddenly changes your whole mindset. I know it is just a normal way of life for most of you and seems weird to hear this, but it is so real! While I know accidents do happen, you still have way more of a long term life-style and family/work goals you work towards when you know that your children are not at the courts mercy to be snatched away at any moment. ALL THAT TO SAY….

READ HERE FOR THE EXCITING NEWS for 2020!!

We are super excited to announce that Dan took a leap of faith, quit his job and we are going to start raising pasture-raised meat… Chickens, pigs and cows to start off and we would love to raise them for YOU! If you know of anyone that wants to purchase any, please send them our way! We will start taking orders this Spring and would love to know if you are committed to purchasing any! It will also be processed in a USDA certified processing plant, so we could sell it in your store if you have market for it! Very soon we hope to have a Facebook Page and a website linked to my blog, so stay tuned. Obviously this takes a bit of time to build up and God has been super faithful to provide, why do we ever doubt?! For so long we knocked on doors, prayed and searched out different farming options and the doors would gently close or we wouldn’t feel at peace. But then when it feels right, but looks crazy and we just take that obedient step, God always opens the following doors like a domino effect. Dan got numerous part time job offers, which fit perfectly into what we need to start out our pasture raised farming system. And we trust He will continue to open those door as we need them.. This is exactly where we want to raise our 3 boys, being outside and working with the animals they love and the man they adore. Most of all, Dan had a deep desire and felt like he needed to be home more and around our boys as they grow. We feel incredibly grateful for our boys and want to raise them in rich life experiences. I’m excited to learn more about living off the land and being able to feed my family with the best quality meat!  But. we do need a cute business/farm name- drop me your suggestions!! We live on Spring Hill Creek Road, like the idea of farm or pasture being in the name, but not our own personal names.. Ahhhh-Hellpp!

We ended the year with a magical week in Florida- Dan & I used to go every winter, but skipped a few and we are excited to start the tradition back up. It was the boys’ first beach experience and they loved it as much as we do! According to them we now have a beach house, and we are going back again ‘soon’. I love it 🙂

Now, for the best part.. highlighted pictures from the past year. (I spared you hundreds…)

Sweet baby shower

ready to ‘pop’!

Welcome baby Jenson Dayshawn Daniel

A Forever Family of Five

Happy 3rd birthday to my sweetest big boys!

Not a bad cake for 1 week Post part <3

My sweet perfect baby..

Just love us!

The whole Miller Family in TN celebrating my man’s 30th!

and the adventures begin!

…and now, 9 months outside!

so much fun in Florida!

brothers are the best

Christmas was more magical than the photos 😉

What was your favorite part of my update? 🙂 …and please drop your ‘farm name’ suggestions below..(or message me!)

CBD Oil Giveaway!

CBD Oil Giveaway!

GIVEAWAY time!! I still can’t believe I’m doing this, but here goes! I decided to start a business venture offering something I truly believe can bring so much healing to your body and in turn your emotional well being. When your body reaches a homeostasis there’s a lot more calm & joy, at least that is what I personally experienced! (scroll to bottom for my testimony.)
I am so excited to serve anyone that would like to try it as well, that I decided to launch my business by giving away a full bottle!! One winner will receive 1 bottle of peppermint CBD oil, his choice of full spectrum or THC free. 
I am not asking you to sign up or do anything, I truly just want you to experience it! 
Rules of the giveaway:
•Leave a comment, I would love to hear where you first heard about CBD, not necessarily who, but where?
•Not required, but for extra entries you can share this post with someone you know, but you must comment and say you you shared it with them and include in the comment why you think they might like CBD. Every comment on every platform gets an entry.
•Giveaway closes on Sunday evening, May 5 at midnight.
•I will try to go LIVE Monday evening on Facebook and choose the winner….I will also include entries from Facebook and Instagram for ONE winner. 😊 (winner must be from the USA)
#giveaway#cbdoil#hempworx#cbd#businessventure
Giveaway not sponsored by anyone except myself.

My first testimony….. So y’all know I’ve been scoping out CBD oil..🌿 We were kind of desperate to find something to help our son sleep better. We have tried a number of things and nothing has seemed to help. And I’m a pretty big skeptic when it comes to trying the latest fad, or any health-freak idea really. So I was a bit skeptical about this as well..but I researched it, prayed about it, and listened to testimonies etc, etc.. and finally decided it’s worth a try! 👊

About a week prior to our oil arriving we went to a connected parenting conference & were reminded of all the amazing tools that we loved to use in parenting, but hadn’t been using them anymore.😟 It takes serious dedication, patience and lots of calm and let’s just say I haven’t had much of that around here lately. Fast forward, I decided to also take the CBD just for general health and I didn’t want to give my kid something without me trying it as well. Then about a week in my affiliate contacted me, wondering if we’re all feeling good? My immediate response was no, can’t really tell a difference.🤦‍♀️ But then I remembered that the day before I had commented to my husband that “must be this conference is really what I needed because even tho there were some really high stress parenting situations that week, I just felt so calm and was able to handle them without yelling 😐 that it’s just amazing, I feel so different and not constantly uptight, completely overwhelmed and tired.”💃 AND I was going to bed later, getting up earlier and skipping naps all in one bam! (But that ended up not being the wisest choice and I’m working on that, making myself go to bed, even tho I don’t feel so soo tired.) So then I was like. Wait a minute, is CBD actually contributing to this?!🙆‍♀️ I think it was the perfect combo, awesome tools and awesome energy and calm to implement them. It has entirely changed the atmosphere in our home. (Just ask my husband…I did, and he’s like, um yeah, you’re way different!) Humbling but true. I don’t have trouble sleeping nights but I assume it is helping me sleep even better, thus being why I’m not tired as much. I haven’t heard myself saying, “I’m soo tired” in awhile, and it used to be my almost hourly saying lol..💆‍♀️😞 I will say I still have headaches and that was one of the main things I was hoping it would help..and still hoping it will!🙏👌

So, I’m definitely buying more and continuing it with the boys.🙌💝 I am slowly seeing change in them and the nights are getting better! He still wakes up some, but 80% of the time he will go back to sleep on his own and not be screaming and sweating and being inconsolable. That is a HUGE win! I hope with possibly a higher dose and consistency he will sleep full nights. 👦

So that’s my honest review.👩‍🏫 And I’m actually so excited about feeling energetic and happy that I want to spread it around and decided to become an affiliate myself. 🙈🙃😚 So I got me a stash here if anyone wants some, I can hook you up with the real deal. You want to be careful and not just try any brand as they are not all reliable.🤷‍♀️ Also, if I could sell you Connected Parenting tools I totally would!!

It’s A Miracle!

It’s A Miracle!

disclaimer: written in 2018 when I found out all this good news. AND be prepared for a series of belated updates I want to actually post on here for my own ‘recording it’ benefit.

I cannot believe I’m actually writing this post. Is it really true? I’ve dreamed of the day and dreamed of how I would share the news….but now that my dream is a reality, I’m speechless! I feel like I’m in a daze and wonder when I will wake up. I am truly pregnant.

When did you find out? The morning of June 5th, 2018 I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was a few days late and even though I was pretty sure it probably was gonna be a negative, I knew we had a big week ahead and I just wanted to know! I laid it up on the counter like I usually do and about 10 minutes late I checked on it. I saw 2 lines for the first time EVER and I literally got so faint I had to sit back down on the toilet. I could feel all the color had drained from my face and I was shaking and in complete utter disbelief! I took another brand test I had and it also showed positive..all I could say n think was, is this for real? And breathing Thank-you Jesus!! I took a selfie in case I wanted to text my husband but I looked completely terrified! Plus I knew I wanted to see my husband’s face and he wouldn’t believe me without seeing a pregnancy test, so I waited until he came home. Which, he came home in the forenoon because we had court for our twin boys that day. I managed to hide my phone and start video so that I could capture his response and I pulled out the positive test and showed it to him and he just stood there, stunned. After a bit he goes, Are you serious? I don’t think I ever saw him so shocked in his life. He had no clue I was gonna take a test. And I will spare you the rest of the details, but it took months for it to really soak in!! And yes, I took a few more tests and went to the Dr. to confirm it before I actually allowed myself to believe that there was truly a baby forming inside.

Now let me finish the rest of the story, we quick got ready and headed to court for our twin boys. We knew there was a chance that a decision would be made about us being able to adopt them, but there had been many ‘chances’ before. BUT guess what?! That very same day we found out we will be able to adopt them, not just a maybe, their Mom signed the papers!! Surrendering her rights. She wanted to make sure we will adopt them and OF COURSE there was no question about that. God answered so many prayers…

That day was completely insane (shocking). People were so happy and excited for us about the adoption and of course we were too. But inside we were just bursting with, “YOU ONLY THE HALF. God has completely blown us away!!!” Later I found out my best friend was pregnant as well (5 wks apart) and we’d dreamed of being pregnant together. I was 30, and crossing over that threshold was a huge deal to my heart about becoming/not becoming pregnant. There were more details I had prayed for that came to fruition and I kept saying, Ok God, my cup is not just full now, IT’S OVERFLOWING! Like can there be any bigger harvest than this?! We had been praying for a forever family and a forever home to call our own for years.. and now suddenly in the year 2018 we got not 1 but 3 forever children and we also bought our dream place. (story to come soon).

So the first few pictures was how we announced it to family and then we had fun photoshoot with Mary Kate Paschall Photography. And she gave me the copyright to print, so that is why you will see it on the pictures, but she gets all the credit! I couldn’t just pick a few, so… photo overload!

Words really seem inadequate to describe how we feel with all of this. Very overwhelmed, humbled, grateful and in utter awe. I actually struggled a bit being so happy and saying ‘God is good’. Because He is GOOD no matter what our circumstances are and that is something I would say again and again in the midst of our trials.. But NOW I was actually, literally, seeing and tasting another layer of that GOOD! He delights in making His children happy and this is definitely one of those times and I’m going to do all I can to make Him look as good as He is, and overflowing with JOY right now is totally appropriate! 🙂

My Endo Story. Part II [the logistics]

My Endo Story. Part II [the logistics]

It all seemed to be happening kind of fast. I know it was God opening doors and not just incidental happenings! In short, January 13th is when I started chatting with my miracle friend. By January 31, I mailed in my 37 page case & they called and accepted it on February 27th. Had my ultrasound on March 2nd and surgery on March 26th!! It seemed like a super fast turn-around to me! Although I had been told it would be a longer wait, so I’m sure it varies..

Like I had mentioned, even though we had wanted to do the surgery, we had not felt at peace doing it with my regular OB/GYN, and didn’t know until later why that was. So when my friend told me about her experiences, she was referring to her surgery with Dr. Sinervo in Atlanta, GA. I also checked with my Creighton Model teacher who gave me a few names of NaPro surgeons that I would have trusted as well. But something about Dr Sinervo seemed right, I emailed them and they were super quick and very personable in responding, answering every little question I had. I knew it would mean we would have to travel to have my surgery, but it was well worth it to us, for me to have someone that was a super-skilled LAPEX surgeon and also very respectful of my requests. Plus also a Christian!

So after the emails and we decided to go ahead with it, I asked them for the paperwork for the Free Review Process. Which meant they could get all the info they needed without me making a trip to Atlanta. Now remember, endometriosis is not diagnosed without a surgery. So there were lots and lots and lots of questions, if I remember right I filled out about 37 pages of information. It felt overwhelming, but once I sat down to do it, it really wasn’t that bad. They suggest including a picture of you and your family to help them make it more personal, you are not just another number to The Center for Endometriosis Care! So the Dr. looks over your case and determines whether or not he thinks you have the disease and are a good candidate for surgery and he personally called me to tell me that they can help me. He explained exactly what all they would do during my surgery and made sure I understood everything. A few days later a lady followed up with scheduling the surgery. Once again, if I had any questions, they were super helpful in answering everything! They also wanted me to have an ultrasound just to check for any endometrioma, which I had done locally.

We decided to make the 5 hour road-trip and had thought we might stay at an Airbnb and take the kids along, as we needed to be in Atlanta for right around a week. But we ran into some snags and decided to get respite instead, but had no idea who?!.. Our lil miss Glitterbug ended up leaving like the week before surgery, so we just had the boys. Once again God opened some doors super fast! The day they called to schedule it, I suddenly remembered a sweet couple we met 2 years ago at a Foster Parent Awareness Sunday Service. I scrambled around to get her info and in a matter of hours, she confirmed they had no placements and would love to care for our boys! I knew it would be a great place for them and I would be able to recover so much faster. We ended up getting this cute condo for 6 nights at less than half price through Priceline. Definitely glad it was on ground floor and only a few feet from the outdoors and our vehicle.

A few years ago I had an ACL repair surgery on my knee and the whole thing was a way bigger ordeal than I thought it was going to be. So this time I decided to plan for the worst and hope that it won’t be as bad as I planned. I read every article I could get my hands on from their website, The Center for Endometriosis Care, they have an awesome informative website. I also needed to do the bowel prep, and from another cleanse I had done, I knew it would not be pleasant, so again I researched and prepared like crazy! I tried to eat mostly greens the week before surgery, especially the last few days, and drink lots. I read every suggestion and tip from this list and went shopping for everything that I thought I might need. The day of my bowel prep I drank lots of water, tea, and 64 oz of white grape juice before I ever had to start with the pills and powder, and it greatly lessened the pain as the time in the bathroom was spread out quite a bit more. Also I was so glad I got 2 different flavors of Gatorade, it really helped getting the whole 64 oz of MiraLax liquid down. Because I knew we were not going to be at home during recovery I wanted to make sure we would be able to relax and have everything I needed. The things I was most grateful for were the Fiber gummies, which I started taking the week before, and the Neosporin, tea and white grape juice. My friend suggested drinking lots of tea as soon as I can start drinking liquids after surgery. I had 3 different kinds n switched off, drinking pretty much round the clock and I had very LITTLE trouble with gas pains afterwards, which seemed to be the number one complaint from others. In case you are interested, I got the Peppermint, Smooth Move w/ Peppermint and Ginger Tea Bags. I often added honey or lemon to them. The belly band and taking walks everyday were also my best friends and provided relief, plus the walks helped a lot in not getting constipated.

I was also pretty careful to follow the diet the week after surgery. Panera Bread came to the rescue with smoothies and soups. Jello, yogurt, cottage cheese, some fruit and then mashed potatoes were a few of my favorites.

So without going into much detail about the actual surgery and the amazing Northside Hospital, I just want to quickly share what they actually found! Of course I was slightly worried with the thought of “what if they don’t even find any endometriosis”?! And I think that was my first question once I finally got to see my husband. They did a number of things, all of which I fully understood and had to repeat to every person (almost!) that I met before surgery. Yes, they did find endometriosis, stage II. All of it, along with some benign fibroids/fibrous tissue, & pelvic adhesions were successfully removed. My appendix also had some reactive changes in it, possibly from endo, and was removed as well. I thought it was interesting that the biggest endo spot was the exact place where I had the most distinct pain. Also had some removed from my bladder, everything was in very ordinary places and they didn’t have any complications. He also found I had a mild Arcuate uterus, which he cut and made normal. So basically everything they checked out was good, removed or repaired.

finally awake & in my room

I was very, very impressed with Dr. Sinervo. We actually had our phone consult with another Dr. at their clinic, but then the morning of the surgery we met with him and he explained everything again and answered any questions. He met us at the hospital before surgery and had prayer just before I got my happy ‘drink’ and everything felt really light. He said he would be the one in the operating room holding my hand as I went under anesthesia but I sure don’t remember any of it. He talked with Dan after my procedure and then personally came by once I awoke to explain how the surgery went. But even so, I was glad Dan recorded it because I couldn’t remember much!

Of course my primary question was, “Is this really going to help my pain?” I don’t remember his exact words, but basically if we could get it down to a 0 it would be a homerun, but if we can at least get it from a 10 down to a 3, it’s still a win. Which I wholeheartedly agreed. But he warned, and I found to be true for me, although every case is different, that I would very likely still have pretty bad pain for at least the next 3 cycles while everything heals and settles down. This quote from their site described it well: “New peritoneum must be generated to cover the raw area. The swelling must have time to subside. The patient’s nerve endings can’t tell the difference between endometriosis and the surgery to excise it: all they know is that something is causing them to fire, and the result can be pain.” He also said that even with my endometriosis, statistically we still had a good percent chance of getting pregnant, and surgery only increased our chances by about 20-25%. I think that was because of where my endo was located, not necessarily affecting my reproductive organs.

We got paperwork with all the details of the surgery, everything they did and removed, even a step by step report from the operating room. Just a lil whoozy, but interesting, reading how they propped me up, how they removed stuff and exactly how they cut etc..etc..

favorite leg massagers to prevent blood clots

I’m really not sure what all to say about the recovery, I was so glad we got to stay at the hospital overnight. It was pretty awful those first days and I stayed medicated as much as I could, & slept. The first time they tried to get me to walk, it was all I could do to make it to the bathroom, I got really nauseated from pain meds so they gave me something for nausea. A few hours later I could walk a tiny bit down the hallway. The main focus was to get up and walk frequently which was more difficult than I imagined but it definitely helped and got better by the day. We had to stay in the Atlanta area for 72 hours after being released and I was glad for every day before having to travel home. That first week recovery was pretty rough. By Friday I was feeling considerably better and we stopped almost every hour on the way home so it went really well.

I was able to have a follow-up at their center before heading home and then another one 2 wks later with my own Dr at home. Both of which I almost fainted.. I failed to drink enough water and I had low blood pressure. But it cleared up ok as soon as I had fresh air n water. At about 2 wks I went off the prescription pain meds as they just kept making me sick, & over the counter ones worked great. Up to that point I also got my hubby to wake me during the night with meds and crackers so I could wake up painlessly in the morning. My husband was with me the first 2 wks and my niece came to help out with the boys as I couldn’t lift them. I hardly did anything but spend time on the recliner and go on walks. It really went quite well & my brain was done with the recovery at about 3-4 weeks, but my body took more like 6 weeks. However I think my swelling/bloating took about 9 wks to fully disappear. It was definitely a surgery to recover from, but I just felt so grateful that we actually did it. All in all, it wasn’t as bad as I expected! My sweet friends brought in food and I focused on resting instead of working! I had 3 months of free return checkups at the center but thankfully didn’t need them as everything healed well. I had some random things come up, but whenever I checked with them, it was all okay and ‘normal’.

Dr. Sinervo himself!

I’m so so happy we were led to do the surgery, to come in contact and experience Dr. Sinervo. I am excited about more pain-free days to come!! Most of all, I am so grateful that God led us here and gave us a successful surgery. An amazing blessing!! A verse I carried with me and claimed to be true, NO MATTER the results of the surgery: “Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice!” Psalm 63:7. A success like this just makes me in awe again of God’s mighty works!

I can’t say it enuf, be your own advocate. trust your intuition. Google doesn’t even remotely tell you what you need to know, or even the truth. Your regular Dr. won’t know or be able to explain endo to you. Find people with experience, Dr.s that specialize in it. RESEARCH. For me I knew the Holy Spirit was guiding us and I am so thankful we listened and followed and not just pushed ahead with the first thing the first Dr said. The peace in moving ahead is so worth waiting for. Ask tons of questions, ask other people, do research. Don’t just assume the Dr. knows best. If it doesn’t feel right for you, then wait till it does. We knew without a doubt this was the right path for us.

Also if anyone has any questions, especially if you are considering the surgery or have experience with endometriosis, please reach out to me. I would be delighted to answer any questions or give more specifics! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.

My Endo Story. Part I [understanding endo]

My Endo Story. Part I [understanding endo]

It all kind of began around the end of 2016 when I saw an OB/GYN to see why my menstrual cycles were so severe and painful.. We did some tests and everything seemed pretty normal. He concluded that I probably have endometriosis and gave us a few options. One of the options was to perform laparoscopy surgery to see what he would find and also remove it. We however, did not feel at peace with it, something just didn’t feel right and I’m so grateful. In hindsight I can totally see it was guidance from God. So we picked another option. One of our biggest drawbacks was the chance of the endometriosis coming back n having to perform surgeries multiple times. Altho our Dr. did not put much emphasis on that and acted very confident that the surgery would be a ‘cure’ and it was not a big deal.

I did some researching in the next year and we had better insight on how to handle the pain, but it kept getting worse. I started having some pain in-between cycles, and a lot of the symptoms of endometriosis were definitely present. Fatigue and nausea at random times made my hubby think I had a blood sugar issue. But painful periods were definitely the worst, during which even with 3 Ibuprofen every 4 hours I was not able to perform the normal household duties; without them I felt like I was delirious n literally could not think straight to breathe through the pain. Hot baths, or heating pads helped some to be able to uncurl.. I also had pelvic pain especially in my left side and some bowel issues.

Fast forward to January 2018 I coincidently & divinely came in contact with a lady that had multiple endo surgeries and she answered all my hundreds of questions and explained to me the difference between removing endometriosis with ablation vs excision. Immediately it made sense to me. Through many voxer messages she became a friend to me and shared her experiences, not because she got anything out of it but just because she cared. We were becoming desperate for relief from pain, pain that is NOT normal. I did lots and lots of researching and praying. Is it too good to be true? Is this really the right path for us? We felt an incredible peace and clarity from God to pursue the excision surgery. So basically I want to share some of the insight that I gained through the process if there is anyone out there that has as many questions as I did. (Details of my specific surgery to come in Part II.)

Endometriosis (endo) is a very mystifying disease and I still struggle trying to explain it. So I’ll try to share it in plain terms and you can read more about it here and many more details here. There are many myths and explanations all over the internet but no one truly knows what causes endo or what it is exactly.

The theory that my Dr. perceives to be most accurate, and what makes the most sense to me is this: Endometriosis is when tissue (similar to endometrial-tissue, which is the lining of the uterus) grows outside of the uterus. It can form into endometriomas, fibrosis, adhesions etc, basically anywhere in your body. They think perhaps it is genetic, because they have tested babies born with it. In fact, women that have a close relative with endometriosis are 5 to 7 more likely to also have it. Generally the pain and inflammation is not a nuisance until reproductive age, however some never have any symptoms. The most common symptoms are:

  • Crippling period pain in people who menstruate
  • Abdominal pelvic pain at any time, often intractable and chronic
  • Bowel or urinary disorders/pain/dysfunction
  • Painful intercourse/penetration/sexual activity
  • Infertility/pregnancy loss/possible link to preterm births
  • Immune-related and other comorbid disorders
  • chronic fatigue with menstrual abnormalities
  • Nausea and/or vomiting
    Not all persons with endometriosis will have all symptoms, and no two cases are identical.

Like I mentioned, it can be a bit of anywhere, but most commonly on or around the pelvic structures, bladder, bowels, intestines, ovaries and fallopian tubes. Very rare, but it has been found on the brain. The only way to be diagnosed is through surgery, typically a laparoscopy. Unlike what you may think it cannot be seen on ultrasounds. I did have an ultrasound to check for any endometriomas or “chocolate cysts”. Thankfully I didn’t have any of those.

The thing that saddens me the most is that 1 out of every 10 women in the US have endo, yet many remain undiagnosed. To me it seems like a confusing disease. Most regular Dr’s are not properly trained or educated about it. Many women, myself included, finally resign that it’s all ‘in my head’. But it’s not. Way too many times the pain is not looked at as a serious issue until the subject of infertility comes up. And that is just one of the symptoms. There are many women that deserve to have their case looked at and treated even if they have not been seeking infertility treatments.

There are 4 stages of endometriosis: minimal, mild, moderate, severe. However, stage was primarily developed to assess fertility and has no bearing on pain or symptoms. A person in stage 1 can suffer in the extreme while a person with stage 4 does not experience any pain (though higher stages often present with painful, fibrotic and deep disease).

Ok, so a little bit about ablation vs excision.. I debated about copying paragraph 10 from this page, but decided to keep writing in my own words to make it as plain and simple as I understand it. Basically the ablation surgery is the normal everyday surgery most of your OB/GYNs will perform. They will just go in and skim or burn off the tops of the endo, what they can see. Leaving behind the bulk of your endo and allows the subsequent adhesions to bury the remaining disease. Definitely causing you pain again in the future. Most likely the Dr will give you medication or advise diets to control the inflammation and chances of it causing pain again. Laparoscopic Excision (LAPEX) is the surgical cornerstone of any high quality approach to correctly treating the disease. LAPEX allows for endometriosis to be meticulously removed – cut out – from all areas, without damaging surrounding structures or removing otherwise healthy organs. I also firmly believe that it is not just important to find a Dr. performing excision, but find one with lots of experience, who really knows what he’s doing-his speciality. Also make sure you trust the skill of your surgeon! (more details on how & why we chose our surgeon in Part II.) So basically imagine an adhesion of endo as a huge iceberg with only 1/4 of it poking up out of the water, ablation will burn off the top 1/4 and leave the rest. Excision will remove the entire iceberg layer by layer until there is none left. With ablation you have a 40-60% chance of the endo symptoms returning in 1 year, and 80% chance that it will be back in 5 years. With excision you only have a 5-7% rate of return in 5 years.

Whew that felt like a lot of information. If you have any clarifications or comments, feel free to comment! Also stay tuned for Part II where I will be sharing about my personal experience with LAPEX by Dr. Sinervo!

 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.

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