Looking back at 2017

Looking back at 2017

It’s been a lil too long, my fingers and brain have been itching to write but my heart doesn’t always know where to start. So, we’ll just start.

 

2017 is over and gone, just memories remain. I’m pretty much okay with putting that year behind me and looking forward to what is ahead. We started out the year as just the 2 of us, not really expecting it to change or adding any foster children anytime too soon, to give us time to heal and process from our twins leaving in December.  But by the end of January we had the twins back, 11months old,  and had said Yes to their 2 sisters, coming in the month of February. A 3 year old, and baby from the hospital.

We also started an organization called Blessing Basket, a clothing/items closet for families associated with foster care. We accept & give everything for free, basically just a bridge for the community to help out. Needless to say, with 4 toddlers I was a little overwhelmed and sold my fudge inventory, said goodbye to the business part of my life and tried to learn how to embrace this busy mom life.

 

We fought through lots of sicknesses and visited way too many Dr’s for our baby girl, but she came out ahead and strong by the end of the year! I learned pretty quickly I needed my people and family for support and accepting it was the key to making it through. I accepted help from my nieces for wks and food from friends all the time, breaks were granted to me by my husband and so much more.. I hired babysitters and cleaning ladies as needed. Even with that there were times it felt we were just surviving instead of thriving.. We did quite a bit of ‘necessary’ travel, but not nearly the recreational travel we thought we might 😉

Seriously, I don’t really know where the year went, it seemingly evaporated. It was probably a year I will always look back at as a blur, but I am thankful for journals and photos that help me remember the little moments that truly made it into a fun and amazing year. Not gonna lie, I wouldn’t choose to go through it again, but I learned a lot and would say yes to those 4 babies all over again. However, I probably ate more words and ideals than I thought I would, its not all roses being a needed human 24/7!

I clearly remember when we started this journey of foster care, secretly thinking and hoping that we’d have so many kids hanging at my legs I wouldn’t know which way to turn and I wouldn’t have time for anything else. But then there were times this past year I wondered what kind of fantasy I was dreaming about. I love loved the experience and the kids, but it was exhausting. Not only being a mum but navigating thru the visits, co-parenting with the legal, bio and grandparents, searching everywhere for answers to trauma added to the whole picture. Even though I still sometimes say, imagine what we’d be doing tonight if ‘no kids’, there is no way I would trade it for being a mom!

 

Spiritually I spent a lot of the year fighting God and learning how to do things on my own, because without realizing, I quit ‘really’ trusting Him. Oh I said I trusted Him and I thought I did. But He became the God who does what He wants, brings all this pain and turmoil into my life and no matter what I ask, He does what He wants anyway.. Graciously He showed me all of that and who He really is towards me. Lets just thats another post for another day, that changed my life. I think that’s why I am so grateful for all of last year and it bringing me to the end of myself so many times, and allowing me to truly find my Father’s heart. My word for 2017 was love, and it was definitely taken to a whole new level in a way I had no idea it could be..

 

So, anyways, as 2017 drew to a close, we said good-bye to our 3 year old, #divagirl moved in with her Grandma in November. In December #miraclebaby, now 10 1/2 months old went to live with another Grandma. If you follow me on social media, you know that it’s been pretty hard on all of us. We still get to have sibling visitation once a month, so that has helped. Christmas was quietly spent in TN with family and at home with our two lil remaining boys. We closed out the year by being taken out with a stomach virus, then the kids got strep. I think the word best used to describe 2017 would be ‘full’.

 

Whoops, I started out wanting to write about the New Year, but see what happened? When I start writing it just kind of spills out. I don’t really want to make this post super long, so I’ll divide it up and share a little how I feel about 2018 next time..

 

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Run to the Doctor /post surgery

Run to the Doctor /post surgery

It really is quite strange to not have all those bandages on and actually be able to see what all they did. The worst thing is it feel so unsupported. We still wrap it up with ACE bandages, but with all the gauze gone the brace is so loose and when I walk it really hurts to try and put weight on it. Kinda feels like it is gonna ‘give way’. So I called the Dr and they said we can come upright away and they will adjust it. So as soon as someone could come take my Hubby’s place in the combine he took me to the Dr. I actually just saw his assistant Ms Diane Miller. She not only fixed the brace, she showed us how all the straps work! It’s quite the contraption!! But once it’s all explained, it’s actually kinda easy; but it sure had looked confusing. As much as we hadn’t felt like spending a $100+ out of pocket for the brace, we are now glad it was a requirement. With that not letting me bend and offering support in the right places I am allowed to put as much weight on as I can stand. But I still haven’t learned the art of walking without crutches 🙂

I’m feeling a lil more adventurous since ‘having’ to get out of the house. So I spent a few hours over at my sisters house and she brought me home then. That was so nice for something different!

Riding in a vehicle is still an interesting outing…because I only get to sit in the back seat sideways with my leg up on the seat. I told my hubby it’s starting to feel like he is having to “put the child in the carseat in the back” everytime we go somewhere.

I have been busy organizing everything for Amish Sweets’ baking which starts this weekend. So many recipes to copy. Ingredients to buy. Prices to gather. Itemizing everything to see what my prices need to be. Receipts to be tallied. So if you wonder just WHAT I am doing with all my spare time on my chair…that would be it!

Plus today I officially begin adding therapy-at-home to my list of necessaries. signature new2

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