thanks to Mary Kate Photography

Well Hello again, my brain has whipped out so many blog posts, but seemingly my fingers have not connected with the keyboard in order for them to hit publish! Busy mom status I suppose.. But also, am realizing that one has time to do whatever you make a priority and I am shifting some priorities around in the coming year. High on my list of priorities is to live a more relaxed lifestyle – one that actually takes time to do what brings ‘life’ for myself and those things that I save to do “on vacation” and incorporate them into my monthly life habits. In short, these are a few basic ones: #1. Read #2. Write #3. Date my husband. #4. Go do fun things with my kids outside of the daily norm that create memories.

I am the type that I always have a long ‘to do’ list laying around somewhere, that creates a ‘need’ to be working when I am at home. I am not necessarily always working, but my brain can quickly feel overwhelmed or mentally feel like I should be doing something instead of relaxing. Rather than giving myself permission to read/write, I think it is a luxury that I cannot afford, & then I feel depleted. I can rarely truly relax or mentally unplug enough from my lists to allow myself to do something that fulfills & renews me while in my own house. But take me to a coffee shop, or on vacation and I am as free as a bird and can focus, relax, laugh and smile with no care in the world. (what enneagram number am I?!) While on vacation, I will even sit on the couch and watch late night shows with my hubby or make it a goal to write for therapy.  This past December when we were on vacation in Florida the drastic difference became vividly clear to me and I committed to live more of a ‘vacation-mode-lifestyle’ in the comfort of my own home and with those I love the most. Isn’t it funny how when we unplug and take time how things suddenly become obvious and you realize you need more of those moments.

Whoa, I got a bit carried away there… So, year 2019 recap— In the beginning of the year we were settling into our OWN ‘new-to-us’ home and baby Jenson was born on Valentine’s Day. Two incredible life experiences that we had longed planned and dreamed for and were truly answered prayers. We began 2019 still feeling like our cups were full and overflowing and reveling in the abundance of God’s good and precious gifts to us. Perhaps it made us a bit less laser-focused and we started out the year with no specific goals written out and it kind of majorly affected our year. At first it felt like it was all negative and that we were quite ‘purposeless’ and to be honest I don’t think there was a lot of growth. But then (or now, looking back) it actually turned into a good thing of just evaluating where we are and where we want to go. Being a goal-oriented driven person that likes to achieve it was hard for me at times, but I kept sensing that I needed to just be still and trust God in the process of the what seemed like nothing. Because He was working.

We had to make some hard decisions concerning our foster care journey. Tennessee decided to roll out a federal policy that all foster parents must take the flu shot & Tdap vaccine yearly, we struggled, but thought we just won’t think about it and get them. Then we started with a selective vaccination schedule for our baby; which then turned into, No you have to get all of the vaccinations if you want to foster. I had written a long paragraph about how we reached our decision, but deleted it, because this is not about vaccines or to educate you. If you would like to know more you may gladly message me and I will share what I have found. But I feel like if everyone would do ‘real research’ they couldn’t inject their babies with allll of those vaccinations. As pro-life Christians, despite internally fighting it we couldn’t find peace going forward. Our passion has been so much for the foster babies, and I’m just asking God to change it and give me passion for something I can do! Right now we are allowed to care for children ages 6 and above, we will see how it goes if we do get placement in that age range. Until then and in the coming year we will continue to provide free resources for foster families with the Blessing Basket. Hopefully when our children are grown, we can again open up our home to the babies. <3 It breaks my heart, y’all, but the peace is worth it.

When it comes to family and work, it was a complicated season. I settled in being a SAHM, and then started my home-based CBD business, which created some fun and purpose for me, alongside playing with my kids and learning how to keep up with the daily tasks. My husband worked some long hours and God started stirring something within him to make some changes for what he wants to be doing long-term. You’d think having our dream of a forever family would just slide in and make everything be natural. And while it did make it all seem complete, it left us reeling a bit. When you go from having your family dynamic changing every few weeks/months to planning for 10 years down the road…. It feels completely new and overwhelming. Obviously this is what we wanted and still do, but I literally felt like we have no clue what we are doing. Like, what is the use of getting dogs for your kids if they will leave next year? Why would we want to start a farm if we maybe wanna move out west..(something that was definitely in our hearts if we weren’t going to have a family soon..) Why would we start taking yearly family trips if the next year we go and it causes a dull ache because the babies aren’t with us anymore? Is having a bunch of animals or outdoor work what we want in a few years, what if we have all girls? Should we continue with a fudge business, or perhaps we will have all boys that need to be outdoors? Our life scenario could completely change with a moments’ notice and we probably shouldn’t have made long term plans/ goals for them to be shattered at our feet. I’m not just talking about slight changes, but drastic changes where your whole family dynamic completely shifts!! To give you a slight glimpse, we went from having 2 little 18month+ girls to 0 children. A 10month old boy then a few weeks later twin 4 month old boys. Zero kids. Then, bam! Four kids; a newborn, twin 11 months olds and a 3 yr old. Suddenly our life consisted of solely caring for babies and a farm would have been way too much for me to look after yet too. —I hope this helps you understand just a little bit of what I am trying portray when I say that a forever family suddenly changes your whole mindset. I know it is just a normal way of life for most of you and seems weird to hear this, but it is so real! While I know accidents do happen, you still have way more of a long term life-style and family/work goals you work towards when you know that your children are not at the courts mercy to be snatched away at any moment. ALL THAT TO SAY….

READ HERE FOR THE EXCITING NEWS for 2020!!

We are super excited to announce that Dan took a leap of faith, quit his job and we are going to start raising pasture-raised meat… Chickens, pigs and cows to start off and we would love to raise them for YOU! If you know of anyone that wants to purchase any, please send them our way! We will start taking orders this Spring and would love to know if you are committed to purchasing any! It will also be processed in a USDA certified processing plant, so we could sell it in your store if you have market for it! Very soon we hope to have a Facebook Page and a website linked to my blog, so stay tuned. Obviously this takes a bit of time to build up and God has been super faithful to provide, why do we ever doubt?! For so long we knocked on doors, prayed and searched out different farming options and the doors would gently close or we wouldn’t feel at peace. But then when it feels right, but looks crazy and we just take that obedient step, God always opens the following doors like a domino effect. Dan got numerous part time job offers, which fit perfectly into what we need to start out our pasture raised farming system. And we trust He will continue to open those door as we need them.. This is exactly where we want to raise our 3 boys, being outside and working with the animals they love and the man they adore. Most of all, Dan had a deep desire and felt like he needed to be home more and around our boys as they grow. We feel incredibly grateful for our boys and want to raise them in rich life experiences. I’m excited to learn more about living off the land and being able to feed my family with the best quality meat!  But. we do need a cute business/farm name- drop me your suggestions!! We live on Spring Hill Creek Road, like the idea of farm or pasture being in the name, but not our own personal names.. Ahhhh-Hellpp!

We ended the year with a magical week in Florida- Dan & I used to go every winter, but skipped a few and we are excited to start the tradition back up. It was the boys’ first beach experience and they loved it as much as we do! According to them we now have a beach house, and we are going back again ‘soon’. I love it 🙂

Now, for the best part.. highlighted pictures from the past year. (I spared you hundreds…)

Sweet baby shower

ready to ‘pop’!

Welcome baby Jenson Dayshawn Daniel

A Forever Family of Five

Happy 3rd birthday to my sweetest big boys!

Not a bad cake for 1 week Post part <3

My sweet perfect baby..

Just love us!

The whole Miller Family in TN celebrating my man’s 30th!

and the adventures begin!

…and now, 9 months outside!

so much fun in Florida!

brothers are the best

Christmas was more magical than the photos 😉

What was your favorite part of my update? 🙂 …and please drop your ‘farm name’ suggestions below..(or message me!)