family | Capturing Jewels

June 5th

by Julia | Jun 6, 2020 | Our Captured Life

June 5th 2018. this day will forever be etched in my mind as the most miraculous day ever. I still shake my head in wonder when I recall it…..

part of my journal entry–Today may perhaps have been the best day of all our lives as a family. The day that we found out, after exactly 5 years of waiting, that we are PREGNANT!!!! and that, after 2 years of having the boys in our home, the twins’ mom ‘signed papers’ to surrender her rights and give the boys to us for through adoption!!!! So, not only one, but we will be adding three to our family! It feels completely surreal. And I KNOW it is not from us doing anything in particular to make this happen, but 100% the works and Hand of God. It feels like such an incredible break-thru! SO MANY MIRACLES! Seriously, it felt like an out of body experience…like I was living some kind of dream. But all I could say all day was THANK YOU Jesus. You are amazing! Your works are awesome! Psalm 92:4-5. [so many people say, oh yeah, you adopted then God rewarded you with getting pregnant. Here is why I don’t like that comment: All three of our boys are equal miracles and blessings straight from God, one is not a reward for ‘taking in’ the others. They are all a reward and blessing from God for saying YES to Him in utter abandon, trusting Him and putting our hope in Him and not in ‘our doings’.

The night before I thought to myself, hmm, I should take a pregnancy test, I am a few days late. But decided to wait until my husband left for work so that I could deal with whatever feelings I have and then candidly tell him later. As soon as I heard him leave @5am, I took that test, laid it on the counter, went and made my coffee. After a little while I went back in to check on it, and the first time in my life I saw an unmistakable second line. Say whaat?!! I got so shaky I had to sit down. I was completely stunned and speechless. After a bit all I could say was, ‘Thank-you Jesus’! I took a selfie with the test because I though maybe I will send it to my husband and I definitely won’t be sharing that picture. I look like a frightened ghost! lol! I did have to take a few more tests and still I wasn’t sure if it was for real?! I decided against texting him because I wanted to see his reaction and I knew that he wouldn’t believe any ‘fancy way’ of telling him the news. I hid my phone, set up on video and showed him the test when he came home around lunchtime. He reacted about the same way as I did. Completely stunned and speechless, shaky and in shock for a little while! He had absolutely no clue that I was even going to take a test! —Then he was like, “Are you pregnant? Are you serious? Wow. I don’t believe it. Wow. I don’t know what to say. Thank you Jesus.” One of my favorite videos, complete with the one of the boys singing Hallelujah in the background! I’ll be honest that we hardly talked about it much those first few days, because we were like, let’s just go to a Dr. and see if it is actually legitimate before we get too excited.

He had to come home at lunchtime because we had court at 1pm for the twins… there had been talk of their biological mom possibly surrendering her rights and signing them over to us, but you never know what will happen until it actually happens when you are in foster care. Things had been dragging on n on…. And don’t you know. She signed those papers and were in even MORE shock! We were so so thrilled, and kept asking ourselves, Is this even real?! Our cups are waay tooo full and overflowing. It’s too much goodness all in one day!?

SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK, it took a good 3 months before we weren’t still in shock, and many many more until we truly believed it. Up until the day of the adoption and the day the baby was born, we kept asking each other, “Is this actually happening?!” Even though we knew it’s true, we could hardly wrap our minds around it as a reality! Even in the hard times we would proclaim and know it to be true, that GOD IS GOOD, no matter what. Now, getting overwhelmed with tangible blessings–WOW!

Two days after June 5th my best friend told me she was pregnant- being pregnant together was totally a dream we had both longed for! Kenton & Keyondre became Hostetlers on July 27th 2018. December 2018 we moved into our very own home- how that all came about was a complete God-script as well. Jenson was born on February 14th 2019.

2020 We are living our dream come true!

2019 Year Recap & Moving Forward News…

by Julia | Feb 20, 2020 | Our Captured Life

thanks to Mary Kate Photography

Well Hello again, my brain has whipped out so many blog posts, but seemingly my fingers have not connected with the keyboard in order for them to hit publish! Busy mom status I suppose.. But also, am realizing that one has time to do whatever you make a priority and I am shifting some priorities around in the coming year. High on my list of priorities is to live a more relaxed lifestyle – one that actually takes time to do what brings ‘life’ for myself and those things that I save to do “on vacation” and incorporate them into my monthly life habits. In short, these are a few basic ones: #1. Read #2. Write #3. Date my husband. #4. Go do fun things with my kids outside of the daily norm that create memories.

I am the type that I always have a long ‘to do’ list laying around somewhere, that creates a ‘need’ to be working when I am at home. I am not necessarily always working, but my brain can quickly feel overwhelmed or mentally feel like I should be doing something instead of relaxing. Rather than giving myself permission to read/write, I think it is a luxury that I cannot afford, & then I feel depleted. I can rarely truly relax or mentally unplug enough from my lists to allow myself to do something that fulfills & renews me while in my own house. But take me to a coffee shop, or on vacation and I am as free as a bird and can focus, relax, laugh and smile with no care in the world. (what enneagram number am I?!) While on vacation, I will even sit on the couch and watch late night shows with my hubby or make it a goal to write for therapy. This past December when we were on vacation in Florida the drastic difference became vividly clear to me and I committed to live more of a ‘vacation-mode-lifestyle’ in the comfort of my own home and with those I love the most. Isn’t it funny how when we unplug and take time how things suddenly become obvious and you realize you need more of those moments.

Whoa, I got a bit carried away there… So, year 2019 recap— In the beginning of the year we were settling into our OWN ‘new-to-us’ home and baby Jenson was born on Valentine’s Day. Two incredible life experiences that we had longed planned and dreamed for and were truly answered prayers. We began 2019 still feeling like our cups were full and overflowing and reveling in the abundance of God’s good and precious gifts to us. Perhaps it made us a bit less laser-focused and we started out the year with no specific goals written out and it kind of majorly affected our year. At first it felt like it was all negative and that we were quite ‘purposeless’ and to be honest I don’t think there was a lot of growth. But then (or now, looking back) it actually turned into a good thing of just evaluating where we are and where we want to go. Being a goal-oriented driven person that likes to achieve it was hard for me at times, but I kept sensing that I needed to just be still and trust God in the process of the what seemed like nothing. Because He was working.

We had to make some hard decisions concerning our foster care journey. Tennessee decided to roll out a federal policy that all foster parents must take the flu shot & Tdap vaccine yearly, we struggled, but thought we just won’t think about it and get them. Then we started with a selective vaccination schedule for our baby; which then turned into, No you have to get all of the vaccinations if you want to foster. I had written a long paragraph about how we reached our decision, but deleted it, because this is not about vaccines or to educate you. If you would like to know more you may gladly message me and I will share what I have found. But I feel like if everyone would do ‘real research’ they couldn’t inject their babies with allll of those vaccinations. As pro-life Christians, despite internally fighting it we couldn’t find peace going forward. Our passion has been so much for the foster babies, and I’m just asking God to change it and give me passion for something I can do! Right now we are allowed to care for children ages 6 and above, we will see how it goes if we do get placement in that age range. Until then and in the coming year we will continue to provide free resources for foster families with the Blessing Basket. Hopefully when our children are grown, we can again open up our home to the babies. <3 It breaks my heart, y’all, but the peace is worth it.

When it comes to family and work, it was a complicated season. I settled in being a SAHM, and then started my home-based CBD business, which created some fun and purpose for me, alongside playing with my kids and learning how to keep up with the daily tasks. My husband worked some long hours and God started stirring something within him to make some changes for what he wants to be doing long-term. You’d think having our dream of a forever family would just slide in and make everything be natural. And while it did make it all seem complete, it left us reeling a bit. When you go from having your family dynamic changing every few weeks/months to planning for 10 years down the road…. It feels completely new and overwhelming. Obviously this is what we wanted and still do, but I literally felt like we have no clue what we are doing. Like, what is the use of getting dogs for your kids if they will leave next year? Why would we want to start a farm if we maybe wanna move out west..(something that was definitely in our hearts if we weren’t going to have a family soon..) Why would we start taking yearly family trips if the next year we go and it causes a dull ache because the babies aren’t with us anymore? Is having a bunch of animals or outdoor work what we want in a few years, what if we have all girls? Should we continue with a fudge business, or perhaps we will have all boys that need to be outdoors? Our life scenario could completely change with a moments’ notice and we probably shouldn’t have made long term plans/ goals for them to be shattered at our feet. I’m not just talking about slight changes, but drastic changes where your whole family dynamic completely shifts!! To give you a slight glimpse, we went from having 2 little 18month+ girls to 0 children. A 10month old boy then a few weeks later twin 4 month old boys. Zero kids. Then, bam! Four kids; a newborn, twin 11 months olds and a 3 yr old. Suddenly our life consisted of solely caring for babies and a farm would have been way too much for me to look after yet too. —I hope this helps you understand just a little bit of what I am trying portray when I say that a forever family suddenly changes your whole mindset. I know it is just a normal way of life for most of you and seems weird to hear this, but it is so real! While I know accidents do happen, you still have way more of a long term life-style and family/work goals you work towards when you know that your children are not at the courts mercy to be snatched away at any moment. ALL THAT TO SAY….

READ HERE FOR THE EXCITING NEWS for 2020!!

We are super excited to announce that Dan took a leap of faith, quit his job and we are going to start raising pasture-raised meat… Chickens, pigs and cows to start off and we would love to raise them for YOU! If you know of anyone that wants to purchase any, please send them our way! We will start taking orders this Spring and would love to know if you are committed to purchasing any! It will also be processed in a USDA certified processing plant, so we could sell it in your store if you have market for it! Very soon we hope to have a Facebook Page and a website linked to my blog, so stay tuned. Obviously this takes a bit of time to build up and God has been super faithful to provide, why do we ever doubt?! For so long we knocked on doors, prayed and searched out different farming options and the doors would gently close or we wouldn’t feel at peace. But then when it feels right, but looks crazy and we just take that obedient step, God always opens the following doors like a domino effect. Dan got numerous part time job offers, which fit perfectly into what we need to start out our pasture raised farming system. And we trust He will continue to open those door as we need them.. This is exactly where we want to raise our 3 boys, being outside and working with the animals they love and the man they adore. Most of all, Dan had a deep desire and felt like he needed to be home more and around our boys as they grow. We feel incredibly grateful for our boys and want to raise them in rich life experiences. I’m excited to learn more about living off the land and being able to feed my family with the best quality meat! But. we do need a cute business/farm name- drop me your suggestions!! We live on Spring Hill Creek Road, like the idea of farm or pasture being in the name, but not our own personal names.. Ahhhh-Hellpp!

We ended the year with a magical week in Florida- Dan & I used to go every winter, but skipped a few and we are excited to start the tradition back up. It was the boys’ first beach experience and they loved it as much as we do! According to them we now have a beach house, and we are going back again ‘soon’. I love it 🙂

Now, for the best part.. highlighted pictures from the past year. (I spared you hundreds…)

Sweet baby shower

ready to ‘pop’!

Welcome baby Jenson Dayshawn Daniel

A Forever Family of Five

Happy 3rd birthday to my sweetest big boys!

Not a bad cake for 1 week Post part <3

My sweet perfect baby..

Just love us!

The whole Miller Family in TN celebrating my man’s 30th!

and the adventures begin!

…and now, 9 months outside!

so much fun in Florida!

brothers are the best

Christmas was more magical than the photos 😉

What was your favorite part of my update? 🙂 …and please drop your ‘farm name’ suggestions below..(or message me!)

It’s A Miracle!

by Julia | May 2, 2019 | Our Captured Life, When God Writes your Baby Story

disclaimer: written in 2018 when I found out all this good news. AND be prepared for a series of belated updates I want to actually post on here for my own ‘recording it’ benefit.

I cannot believe I’m actually writing this post. Is it really true? I’ve dreamed of the day and dreamed of how I would share the news….but now that my dream is a reality, I’m speechless! I feel like I’m in a daze and wonder when I will wake up. I am truly pregnant.

When did you find out? The morning of June 5th, 2018 I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was a few days late and even though I was pretty sure it probably was gonna be a negative, I knew we had a big week ahead and I just wanted to know! I laid it up on the counter like I usually do and about 10 minutes late I checked on it. I saw 2 lines for the first time EVER and I literally got so faint I had to sit back down on the toilet. I could feel all the color had drained from my face and I was shaking and in complete utter disbelief! I took another brand test I had and it also showed positive..all I could say n think was, is this for real? And breathing Thank-you Jesus!! I took a selfie in case I wanted to text my husband but I looked completely terrified! Plus I knew I wanted to see my husband’s face and he wouldn’t believe me without seeing a pregnancy test, so I waited until he came home. Which, he came home in the forenoon because we had court for our twin boys that day. I managed to hide my phone and start video so that I could capture his response and I pulled out the positive test and showed it to him and he just stood there, stunned. After a bit he goes, Are you serious? I don’t think I ever saw him so shocked in his life. He had no clue I was gonna take a test. And I will spare you the rest of the details, but it took months for it to really soak in!! And yes, I took a few more tests and went to the Dr. to confirm it before I actually allowed myself to believe that there was truly a baby forming inside.

Now let me finish the rest of the story, we quick got ready and headed to court for our twin boys. We knew there was a chance that a decision would be made about us being able to adopt them, but there had been many ‘chances’ before. BUT guess what?! That very same day we found out we will be able to adopt them, not just a maybe, their Mom signed the papers!! Surrendering her rights. She wanted to make sure we will adopt them and OF COURSE there was no question about that. God answered so many prayers…

That day was completely insane (shocking). People were so happy and excited for us about the adoption and of course we were too. But inside we were just bursting with, “YOU ONLY THE HALF. God has completely blown us away!!!” Later I found out my best friend was pregnant as well (5 wks apart) and we’d dreamed of being pregnant together. I was 30, and crossing over that threshold was a huge deal to my heart about becoming/not becoming pregnant. There were more details I had prayed for that came to fruition and I kept saying, Ok God, my cup is not just full now, IT’S OVERFLOWING! Like can there be any bigger harvest than this?! We had been praying for a forever family and a forever home to call our own for years.. and now suddenly in the year 2018 we got not 1 but 3 forever children and we also bought our dream place. (story to come soon).

So the first few pictures was how we announced it to family and then we had fun photoshoot with Mary Kate Paschall Photography. And she gave me the copyright to print, so that is why you will see it on the pictures, but she gets all the credit! I couldn’t just pick a few, so… photo overload!

Words really seem inadequate to describe how we feel with all of this. Very overwhelmed, humbled, grateful and in utter awe. I actually struggled a bit being so happy and saying ‘God is good’. Because He is GOOD no matter what our circumstances are and that is something I would say again and again in the midst of our trials.. But NOW I was actually, literally, seeing and tasting another layer of that GOOD! He delights in making His children happy and this is definitely one of those times and I’m going to do all I can to make Him look as good as He is, and overflowing with JOY right now is totally appropriate! 🙂

Hello again

by Julia | Jun 11, 2018 | Our Captured Life

Hey hey, I decided to spend the month of May focusing on sharing from our fostering experiences on Instagram. May was Foster Care Awareness Month and I joined a group of ladies posting something everyday. So if you want to see a bit more into the depth of our journey, read the last months posts and give me a follow! 🙂

Also I have been writing out the details of my journey with Endometriosis and a glimpse into my surgery, so they should be coming soon. I can hardly believe that it’s been 11 weeks since my surgery!

One more tiny detail… I’m going to be 30 years old the end of this year, no I can’t believe it… Anyways, in my family we get to choose (& plan) what we want to do with the whole family as a celebration! We try to have the celebrations in the summer, so I picked May as the perfect month, although we ended up going on our Wedding Anniversary wknd. Planning a 3 night stay and finding lodging for 20 adults and 20 kids is no small task. At first I thought it was more of a punishment than a privilege, but it ended up being quite the success, not to mention an accomplished feeling getting it all worked out! I wanted to go to the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter. I found that General Butler State Resort Park in Carrollton, KY was perfectly between Creation Museum and Ark Encounter. We had right under an hour drive to both places. We went to the Creation Museum first on Monday and Tuesdays at the Ark. Definitely recommend doing it in that order and going during the week. Also we discovered that in the afternoon we would have had way less people at the Ark than first thing in the morning. Although we did go before school break and I am sure the summer is busy all the time! My family gave me creative gifts of cash for my birthday and I got to buy my dream- a Shark Robot Vacuum!! I’m in love with it, well almost, lol!

Enjoy 🙂