by Julia | Apr 26, 2016 | When God Writes your Baby Story
So this week is NIAW and Resolve’s theme is #StartAsking…. And I’ve been thinking about that alot this week. I always keep coming back to the thing of why don’t people ask me things? Why don’t they ask me what it’s like? Why don’t they acknowledge that they think about it. Why do they carelessly talk about things in my face pretending like it doesn’t affect me? Why do they not come out and ask or say things instead of ignoring the obvious. Me not having a birth story and kids is just as normal to me, as it is for you to have a birth story and kids. Why is one constantly talked about and the other isn’t dared to be uttered above a whisper?
And I realized it’s my own fault. I don’t normalize it. I shy away from being open and honest. I don’t speak about it so they presume to not ask. But the truth is; barrenness is so very much a part of my life and as much as it is not a fun thing, it’s normal for my every day. No matter how very painful it is, it’s not all negative. I don’t want to talk about it every day, but it is part of my life and having people pretending it doesn’t exist hurts so much. I want to speak about it and be open so you don’t need to be scared to #StartAsking.
- I want to #StartAsking what I can do FOR YOU, to support you in this journey of barrenness.
- I want to encourage you to #StartAsking for support.
- I want to #StartAsking you to #StartAsking me……..
- I want to #StartAsking you to support us in this journey..pray for us, acknowledge that you care, ask how something affects me if you really want the truth, for empathy-not pity.
My motive for writing; breaking the silence, is to help bring awareness, but most of all to be vulnerable enough to help others going though it. So today I open myself to anyone out there that is facing barrenness, no matter where you are in it. I want you to be able to talk about it. I want to be there for you. I am not scared to openly talk about it. Or if you don’t want everyone in your life to know about it, I get it. I’ve been there and that’s perfectly fine, I can keep a secret. I just want you to know you are not alone and it’s perfectly ok for you to want to be able to talk with someone who gets it. As much as it is scary to be open, I know that for me, it’s time to break the silence. I am not embarrassed about our story or too timid to share it and talk about it with anyone. I just really do not think that it should be a shamed thing to talk about. God chose us for this journey and we’re not ashamed of it! It’s time to throw away the cloak and realize barrenness is real and it’s ok to talk about it.
I’ve really come to realize that people talk about what they have in common with each other. So while I realize that you may not be comfortable talking about barrenness with me if it’s not something we have in common; that’s ok, I understand. If you have questions, please, #STARTASKING. If not, that’s ok, let’s just find our common ground. And if you do have that in common with me, come on, I’ll buy the coffee 😉 Either way, it’s part of my life and I don’t want it to be an awkward conversation anymore. I’m an open book. I’m not scared to talk about, it’s part of my existence and it’s just as real to me as your kids are to you.
If you know someone struggling please don’t take this post as a sign for you to go talk with them and presume they want to talk about it. Everyone comes to that place in their own time. But please be aware and respectful, we don’t want to be the cause for awkward silences to come over the room as soon as we enter, but there are ways you can show emotional support if you don’t know what to say or how to understand what she is going through. PLEASE please, I beg of you to read this post. [click here] There is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn’t your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lessen the load. Educate yourself and read the entire post.
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog [top right corner] or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one 🙂 p.s. I’ll be posting our timeline-journey later this week.
by Julia | Apr 9, 2015 | me & my jewel, Musings
We recently had the opportunity of hosting some ‘new friends’ and we were really blessed in sharing time with each other, along with parts of our stories, and praying together. As they were preparing to leave, I gave them a print of the above photo along with our contact info. A lil bit later she comes back to me and says that as she was looking at this photo she saw something she felt like she was supposed to share. She sensed that like as in the picture, the background looks dead and brown with old buildings, and the foreground is just lightly turning green and showing life. That it is where we are at in our life right now; even though behind us we have had hard times where things seemed kinda dead, old and brown…that they are starting to change. And we will be beginning a new kind of life-that is “full of life”.
I was so blessed by it and felt like it was from God..I just wanted to document it 🙂
Be blessed, God is always so faithful!
by Julia | Mar 23, 2015 | Musings, When God Writes your Baby Story
It’s dreary and 45 degrees today..
My spirit is heavy. I know God has such an immense plan for us. The journey we are on is so beautiful and yet the process can be so painful. Why does pain need to be involved? And yet I welcome it. I welcome God to use it. Knowing that it is refining me – getting rid of junk. And to uncover a jewel lots of refining, purging, sanding away needs to take place. There is incredible beauty from pain.
Dear God, use this pain as part of your purifying process. Teach me your way. I know You are sovereign. You are so mighty. I know you are in control. I know this because you are my King and I submit my life to You. I gave You my desire for a family. I placed it in Your Hands and continued serving you. Sometimes I have been very confused as to what You are doing and other times I smile and dance just knowing that Your Almighty Hand is smoothing the pathway. With your own fingers you are drawing the route on our life-map.
The unknown [not being able to see around the next bend- or why we went down this hill, up that mountain, thru that desert..] that unknown is at times really hard to accept. But I know you are protecting me. You see the road ahead and you allow me to see all that I need to, to be safe. And the rest; you protect me from it. I hear you say, “Just trust Me”.
Oh Father, I have been trusting. I will continue to trust. My faith has been shaken. But you know what, I think I’m finally getting the picture! Everytime that I stop, everytime my faith feels shaken, everytime that I don’t want to keep walking on this specific pathway you have smoothened for me, everytime that I want to run back to the intersection where I had the choice of following the pathway You designed or the one where I could choose my own way that with the human eye looks good and filled with ‘comfort and ease’. And in all those when my flesh wants to quit, to drag me down that other road- whispering in my ear, ‘it’s not sin, it’s just easier, it’s what you want’. But I stop. I cry. I ask for You. Your help. And everytime I choose to believe again, to give it ALL to you, to passionately follow and trust in You. My faith is grounded another level deeper. It’s like another measure stronger and I know that it went through the fire, it became strengthened, concreted enough for whatever is next. Because the next boulder that falls in my pathway may be just a bit larger, a bit tougher than before. But I am not going to turn around or quit, so it is going to have to be moved. In those questioning times I am gaining enough strength and faith to be able to OVERCOME and move that boulder away. In faith I am going to conquer in Your Name. I will keep on the pathway You are scripting. I will choose to believe.
I know ultimately I only want what YOU have planned-no matter how hard it is. I want to stay on the road that you are writing just for me, because it’s all for your glory. I know that someday I will understand. Someday all this won’t seem cruel at all. Instead I will fall at your feet and worship you, being able to see what all you protected me from. What all you prepared me for. …
and at this point I hear God gently whispering, “I want you to fall at My feet and worship me today. Without seeing the whole picture. Without understanding. I want you to worship me in faith. Because I AM good all the time.”
Faith is believing without seeing. Faith is what makes it possible to worship without feeling like everything is good in our life. So today, I once again grab that faith and cling for dear life. And I will worship because I know that my God is good and is doing good things in my life, whether my human eye can see it or not.
How do you get through difficult times?
[Edit: this was written last week, just getting around to posting it today..]
So this week is NIAW and Resolve’s theme is #StartAsking…. And I’ve been thinking about that alot this week. I always keep coming back to the thing of why don’t people ask me things? Why don’t they ask me what it’s like? Why don’t they acknowledge that they think about it. Why do they carelessly talk about things in my face pretending like it doesn’t affect me? Why do they not come out and ask or say things instead of ignoring the obvious. Me not having a birth story and kids is just as normal to me, as it is for you to have a birth story and kids. Why is one constantly talked about and the other isn’t dared to be uttered above a whisper?
