by Julia | Mar 8, 2018 | Foster Care
First of all, I forgot to mention we had a lot of snow for about a week in January. Both the amount and the length of time are rare for TN, so we were thrilled!
And because I had birds again this winter!! I just love watching my birds and quite delighted with all the red cardinals. It was not rare to count 20 plus at one time 🙂 Such a beautiful sight, morning sunlight glistening off the snow with dots of red outside, and yes Christmas clings on the window. 
OK, I’m done with the weather.
We got lil miss Glitterbug back soon after the holidays and just before her 4th Birthday. Last year she came to live with us just days after her 3rd Birthday, so I wanted to do all I could to make it special for her. Turns out she was still going thru too many transitional fears and only wanted her party at our house, with no additional guests or gifts. What we have for her is enough she declared. But after excited party talk & explaining the layout of the party to her every day, she finally consented that I could invite a select few of my nieces and in-laws, our family around here. Also she kept lamenting every few days how she never got to see Santa Claus. So I knew I wanted to try to somehow combine a lil Christmas into her party to help her feel celebrated in both, thus the lights.
We kinda have this tradition of waking up to balloons and fun; then calmly celebrating their birthdays at home that night with candles & cupcakes. We have a party with family & friends later. It helps the celebration to go on a lil longer and hopefully avoid an overload of emotions. Having been warned of ‘birthday triggers’ I’m always hoping I’m taking the best precautions in keeping it fun for the kiddoes.
Here’s the thing about trauma.. you can never fully prepare because sometimes a child feels things they never felt before & doesn’t even know what is going on or why they’re upset, but suddenly all their safety flags are up and on high alert. No one is prepared. All we know is that we wanted to sing Happy Birthday. Sometimes what you think you see in behavior, is completely opposite from what is going on inside. Sometimes too much attention is terrifying and not enough is scary. For a child that craves and begs for attention, but then melts down at times when given too much attention – it’s purely exhausting. I’ve learned alot but I’m still learning so much that I hesitate to put too many words out there just yet. But yeah it was a little hard to know how to handle all the emotions that came with it but we decided to err on the side of caution and compassion & understanding. I wish it were that easy everyday…… Like I said, it is exhausting. (or maybe I’m just a lil over-tired right now 😛 ) 
I did have fun with her cake! I couldn’t really find what I was going for so I concocted my own design. She wanted a pink cake, with pink frosting in a heart shape. I only had this pan in a heart shape, that I had picked up at Aldi one day. It leaked out a lil, but worked just fine. I made her my favorite yummy Strawberry Cake. (if you want the recipe, I’ll gladly share) She was so excited because she got to help me make it and lick all the spoons. But then I surprised her with the decorations which she totally loved! I did have her name on the cake but edited it out for privacy. Â 
We got her a VTech Write and Learn Creative Center for her birthday and a sticker book. Both were great choices and have provided much entertainment for her and her 2 year old brothers. Â Although I cannot say enough good about the sticker books, I think we both equally love them. She does super well in matching the pictures and words. I was a lil frustrated at first because how is a 4 year old supposed to be able to find the correct stickers for the correct page? But they are all well organized and numbered, I get all the stickers on the couch or table beside her and she can do a 2 page spread alone. Â 
We spent many hours getting her hair combed out those first few weeks, because they came back in a matted mess. Yes it almost made me cry, her hair is so beautiful! But thankfully, after much diligent searching I found an amazing salon for black kiddoes. She was very helpful and gave me a comb that worked, plus shared lots of other great tips and resources. Seriously, the comb was amazing and I have searched everywhere online and cannot find one like it. But yeah, Crisco and olive oil are actually quite helpful in the hair department. So, after all that pain I allowed her to fulfill a dream; having beads in her hair. 3 hours was a long time, but the smiles and sheer delight in her eyes made it all worth it! She couldn’t stop twirling and saying how much she loved her beads. 
And it’s good-bye to the birthday & balloons…Â 
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by Julia | Jan 19, 2018 | Foster Care, Our Captured Life
It’s been a lil too long, my fingers and brain have been itching to write but my heart doesn’t always know where to start. So, we’ll just start.
2017 is over and gone, just memories remain. I’m pretty much okay with putting that year behind me and looking forward to what is ahead. We started out the year as just the 2 of us, not really expecting it to change or adding any foster children anytime too soon, to give us time to heal and process from our twins leaving in December. Â But by the end of January we had the twins back, 11months old, Â and had said Yes to their 2 sisters, coming in the month of February. A 3 year old, and baby from the hospital.
We also started an organization called Blessing Basket, a clothing/items closet for families associated with foster care. We accept & give everything for free, basically just a bridge for the community to help out. Needless to say, with 4 toddlers I was a little overwhelmed and sold my fudge inventory, said goodbye to the business part of my life and tried to learn how to embrace this busy mom life.
We fought through lots of sicknesses and visited way too many Dr’s for our baby girl, but she came out ahead and strong by the end of the year! I learned pretty quickly I needed my people and family for support and accepting it was the key to making it through. I accepted help from my nieces for wks and food from friends all the time, breaks were granted to me by my husband and so much more.. I hired babysitters and cleaning ladies as needed. Even with that there were times it felt we were just surviving instead of thriving.. We did quite a bit of ‘necessary’ travel, but not nearly the recreational travel we thought we might 😉
Seriously, I don’t really know where the year went, it seemingly evaporated. It was probably a year I will always look back at as a blur, but I am thankful for journals and photos that help me remember the little moments that truly made it into a fun and amazing year. Not gonna lie, I wouldn’t choose to go through it again, but I learned a lot and would say yes to those 4 babies all over again. However, I probably ate more words and ideals than I thought I would, its not all roses being a needed human 24/7!
I clearly remember when we started this journey of foster care, secretly thinking and hoping that we’d have so many kids hanging at my legs I wouldn’t know which way to turn and I wouldn’t have time for anything else. But then there were times this past year I wondered what kind of fantasy I was dreaming about. I love loved the experience and the kids, but it was exhausting. Not only being a mum but navigating thru the visits, co-parenting with the legal, bio and grandparents, searching everywhere for answers to trauma added to the whole picture. Even though I still sometimes say, imagine what we’d be doing tonight if ‘no kids’, there is no way I would trade it for being a mom!
Spiritually I spent a lot of the year fighting God and learning how to do things on my own, because without realizing, I quit ‘really’ trusting Him. Oh I said I trusted Him and I thought I did. But He became the God who does what He wants, brings all this pain and turmoil into my life and no matter what I ask, He does what He wants anyway.. Graciously He showed me all of that and who He really is towards me. Lets just thats another post for another day, that changed my life. I think that’s why I am so grateful for all of last year and it bringing me to the end of myself so many times, and allowing me to truly find my Father’s heart. My word for 2017 was love, and it was definitely taken to a whole new level in a way I had no idea it could be..
So, anyways, as 2017 drew to a close, we said good-bye to our 3 year old, #divagirl moved in with her Grandma in November. In December #miraclebaby, now 10 1/2 months old went to live with another Grandma. If you follow me on social media, you know that it’s been pretty hard on all of us. We still get to have sibling visitation once a month, so that has helped. Christmas was quietly spent in TN with family and at home with our two lil remaining boys. We closed out the year by being taken out with a stomach virus, then the kids got strep. I think the word best used to describe 2017 would be ‘full’.
Whoops, I started out wanting to write about the New Year, but see what happened? When I start writing it just kind of spills out. I don’t really want to make this post super long, so I’ll divide it up and share a little how I feel about 2018 next time..
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog [top right corner] or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
by Julia | Jul 6, 2017 | Foster Care, me & my jewel, Our Captured Life, When God Writes your Baby Story
Been pondering what to share this month and I suppose it may be time for a bit of a personal life and family update.. Fittingly so with this being the month marking 1 year ago that we received twin baby boys into our home. Seems a bit surreal and sorry if you already know all the stats, but I wanted to write it down for my own remembrance 🙂 
Last July 5th we said good-bye to our first lil boy #MrSunshine and a few days later we welcomed twin 4 1/2 month old boys into our home on July 11th. Because it wasn’t any legal or criminal issues, but merely a lack of proper support, as soon as birth mom was back in shape the boys returned home, no questions asked. I won’t say how many questions and doubts I had, but I chalked them up to me being overly sensitive n attached to the boys in wanting to keep them. In those 5 months we had definitely fallen in love with Bubba & Buddy and were heartbroken telling them good-bye on Dec. 7th. We were not in any rush to take new placements in allowing ourselves proper time to heal (more on that another day.) Also I kept somewhat in contact with mom and told her we would like to support and help her with the boys when she delivers new baby girl in February.
On a personal life level, just prior to the twins leaving we felt led to do a few tests and check out why I have been having such severe menstrual cycles. Crippling to the point of vomiting and, well, I’ll just end it there. We didn’t really receive the quick fix we had silently been hoping for, except that the Dr. recommended I double or triple my pain meds and swap off with tylenol and ibuprofen. My body had become immune to ‘2 advils’.. He, however, felt pretty strongly that I probably have endometriosis. And if you know anything about it, the only way to confirm it & repair it is through surgery. He suggested we check out the Creighton Model FertilityCare System and do some blood work as cheaper alternative ways to definitely track what is going on with my body. So during this kid-break, we took the opportunity to take the classes & learn the CrMS charting. We have been really impressed with it so far. God opened and closed some doors pretty clearly to us in what to pursue, and at this point we are happy & at peace where it led us.  If you have any questions feel free to ask, & hopefully we will have more answers in the future.
December & January We took a Florida vacation, celebrated the Holidays with family, partied in the Smoky Mountains and just did life TOGETHER.. Â Emotionally we just really needed each other. And I didn’t see myself being ready for another attachment in quite awhile. The end of January, I was in contact with the twins’ mother and we ended up watching Buddy while she was in unexpected labor with baby.. she was not early but with many complications, it was prolonged and we ended up getting Bubba a few days later and were so enjoying babysitting them! They seemed kind of in shock but definitely recognized us and our home. Baby made it, but by a series of complete miracles and would end up having a month stay in the NICU.
And then the text came…I was actually rather shocked and my heart was kind of confused with all of it: “The boys’ trial home visit has been disrupted and they will be staying with you again for awhile.” Babysitting was suddenly placement. Of course I was excited to see them, love on them and watch them grow again. But so much had happened in those short 8 weeks and my heart was not prepared for this at all.. They turned 1 a month later & we got to celebrate their birthday with them! But at the same time, it tore me apart. So confusing and traumatizing for them. So disappointing for the bio mom & family.  That’s not all, we also got 2 more of their siblings, aka sisters. Two days later 3 year old Glitterbug came & a month later we brought Miraclebaby home from the hospital. Yes we are busy and yes it can be overwhelming. Also YES, our hearts are full!
Look at all those hair!
There are so many things I wish I could tell you about them and their lives.. But obviously it is not my story to tell. Just know that these are some of the sweetest and most beautiful children around. 3 out of the 4 are high energy kids, and cause me pure exhaustion by the end of the day. They have adjusted to us and life here quite well, perhaps better than what we have!
It has been over 4 months now being a family of 6. Let me tell you, becoming an instant family of 4 kids, ages 3 and under is no joke. And 1 year twins in the middle?! Of course the first month is all fun and everyone is doing great. Month 2 the crazy is high and the real is coming out, turns out 8 wks can raise alot of insecurities for babies. Month 3 we all just want to quit; but we keep reminding each other of that moment we knew God wanted us to say Yes and we keep pushing through, verbalizing that we embrace this life and family. Month 4 we have found a new normal and most days we feel like we are ready and ok for the long haul this appears it is going to be. And we are learning how to specialize in each individual to bond with them instead of lumping them together in an overwhelming sense where no one feels valued. We actually love doing this again & treasure having a family. Routines have definitely taken shape and bring security to us all. I don’t know how I do it most days, but have discovered that the best way to not become overwhelmed is to not ‘plan’ to accomplish anything. Lessen my expectations. Be satisfied in playing on the floor most of the day. Feel full and accomplished without crossing off a to-do list. Believe me, it is still a work in progress, that last one. But I have to constantly remind myself what is most important and not just in a cliche type of way. FOR REAL. Currently I am learning how to carve out time for what God wants me to do on a personal level and am in search of soul rest even in the daily ‘crazy’ schedule.
Recently I was kind of berating God, why He had brought us to a place of peace in saying Yes, and then just left us sit and fend for ourselves in this difficult journey? Why does it suddenly seem like a heavy burden to bear?! He reminded me of the verse my yoke is easy and my burden is light and that I had been trying to carry this yoke alone. I need to come away with Him, into His yoke and it will be free & light. That takes intentionality. Time to stop. Rest. Commune with Him and allow Him to guide every footstep and not just go go go…. In the midst of 50 things pounding in my head that need to be done, schedules & appointments nearly colliding, visits being rescheduled 5x in 1 day….I am learning to literally lift up my hands and say, You control it God and make it work out. Show me what I can cut out or do to make it work. I know You care & You will make a way. 
I just really wana shout out to my amazing husband & partner in all of this, he pulls more than his share of the load. He changes just as many poopy diapers as I do, bathes the boys 99% of the time, does the nightly ritual of putting baby to bed & 100% cares for the boys if they wake during the night. Not only is he the entertainer of all things play in the evenings, he is also the first one out of bed & has coffee brewed for me when I drag myself out 10 (or 20) minutes later. He often cooks us breakfast, or half of it at least & never complains about helping me with last minute meal prep. He never leaves the kitchen until the table is cleared. If it looks like the dogs may fare too richly under our table he will find the broom & remedy that. He washes many dishes, and loads/unloads the dishwasher whenever there is a need. Many laundry-day evenings will find him helping me clear our bed and put away what I didn’t get folded yet. If I’m feeling like I need space, he usually figures out a way for me to get groceries alone or takes the kids on a drive or takes them outside. Anytime there’s even the slightest opportunity that one can ride along with him, he will be the first to suggest it. My chocolate stash stays well supplied. I am so grateful that he helps me around the house until the toys are picked up and things in order so that I can sit with him after the babies are in bed. There’s alot more, but you get the picture, he is Super Amazing & I wana be more like him. I’m seriously so humbled how well he loves me in word & action. 
We were very grateful to family for watching our brood so that we could celebrate our 5th Wedding Anniversary in May. It was seriously one of the cheapest and best vacations we ever had. Originally our plans were a bit more elaborate to celebrate the big five. But then when we had to downscale we knew right away it was the perfect opportunity to relive our first dates and part of our honeymoon in MO. Something we had often talked about doing, and I’m so grateful circumstances led us in that direction. While it is awesome to make new memories, it is so soo good to stop and remember where we came from and how it all started. Even experience those first heart flutters again. 😉
We took the kiddoes to the zoo and the parade.. felt like big accomplishments and they loved it! They spend many hours on our swing set Dan built and the pool has been brought out of storage. We also added 2 baby kitties to our family and thankfully their airways seem to handle frequent squeezing quite well. They absolutely love pizza, so Lil Caesars has seen us quite frequently! We have had more than our fair share of sicknesses, Dr. appointments and teething irritability and are always so grateful for the few days of good health! And we have gone on multiple road trips, we love traveling and the kiddoes do fairly well with it as well. So yeah, its been pretty interesting around here.
And just like that we are halfway through 2017 already and it feels like it was just January. I’m presuming the rest of the year will evaporate just as quickly. One day blends into the next and the months slip away without us hardly noticing. We hope to look back at these days with fond memories and not just a blurred image. Are you saying Yes to what matters today?
If you enjoyed this post and would like to connect on a more personal level, please connect with me. Or if you need prayer, I would love to be in touch with you! Email me at capturingjewels@gmail.com -Follow me on Facebook or on Instagram. To follow along on our journey and not miss any posts, subscribe to the blog [top right corner] or follow my blog Facebook page, not just my personal one.
by Julia | Oct 11, 2016 | Foster Care, Our Captured Life
Hello to October and Autumn, it is so nice to see you!! For the first time in my life I am absolutely so happy to see Fall and say good-bye to summer & heat. I think perhaps it is because of hardly doing any swimming this year. But the cool days and changing leaves have me in so many smiles today and I am just delighted at pulling out a jacket! The smell of cool, air-blown laundry in from the line, and burning cinnamon-apple candles, ahh! I saw the neighbors put up Christmas lights and that got me excited, only to be shot down by my hubby saying that we don’t need to rush it! 🙂
July 5 we did say good-bye to #MrSunbeam after having him in our home for a day short of 7 weeks. It seems like it was a short time, but he was the happiest lil fella and we had quickly fallen in love and gotten attached to him, our first lil boy! He went to a wonderful home and they reported he is walking and doing well, so it was definitely a success story with a few tears.
We decided to quickly go to Nashville that very weekend to belatedly celebrate our Anniversary, and we had an amaaazing fun time. I want to update with a few pictures yet!     Don’t you know, we hadn’t even been on the road for 3 hours when we got a call for twin 4 month old little girls. We definitely wanted them, but also knew we were on this trip and were supposed to be. So we said if they can wait till Monday, that would be great, if not, we understand. And it turns out because of the uniqueness of the situation they could wait till Monday. I was sooo tickled!! And of course had to go buy them a few cute outfits 🙂  Well. on Monday, somehow we got twin BOYS instead. Kinda a shocker, but we were still delighted. They don’t look anything alike, but of course we think they are sweet, adorable and just perfect! They don’t expect it to be long-term, but time will tell! So, by now you can probably understand why this update is just a tad behind..  They have stretched my mothering capabilities beyond what I thought I could handle and left me groping at times, truly not knowing what to try next!! As soon as we’d have them on a feeding schedule for a few weeks, they’d have a growth spurt, or wanted to sleep less and we had to figure it out all over again! Sometimes they’d wana be rocked and sometimes just lay in bed. Currently however, they are 7 1/2 months old and are eating baby food, cereal in their bottles, are on a very reliable schedule and sleeping well. Most times they like to be rocked to sleep and just since they’ve been sick they like if I rock both of them at the same time, thankfully we have a rocking loveseat which makes it very possible. I’d say we’ve grown; from getting up 13 times that first night and having multiple night time feedings, to now sleeping all through the night is quite an accomplishment! They usually go to bed around 7 and wake @6 – 6:30 am, taking 2 naps a day. Also am quite proud of their accomplishments. From just laying on their backs when they came to now crawling and Buddy is pulling himself and walking along furniture. He also just cut his first 2 teeth this month. We nicknamed them Buddy & Bubba, it just kinda fits them! 
Otherwise around here we finished up the garden and cleaned it all away. I completed and passed my high school education test, which is same as a GED in most states. Growing up we were only allowed to go through 8th grade and I’ve always loved school and wanted to complete it just for my satisfaction. My computer was restored, for $0!! My niece was here for 2 weeks and we accomplished A LOT on my to-do list, which is making for a MUCH more relaxing time caring for the twins, editing pictures and catching up on personal things. And helps me be ok when all I get done during a week are the basics. We also had a family reunion in Linn, Mo with my family. We just took what we got with family pictures!
My sister and family from PA were here for a week, and we had a delightful time, but definitely different with 6 kids in the mix! They had so much fun.. 
Hubby is in full harvest swing.. Even though the days get long, I am so happy they are having beautiful weather and not much rain delays and hoping it will continue so they can be done before November. There was 1 week when he didn’t get to see the twins from Sunday till Friday, but then there were 2 days that I got to ride with a lil, thanks to my sis for babysitting. I think not being able to go with him makes the days seem alot longer. But I will enjoy them, because before we know it, time change will be here and the days will be so short! Â Peace to all & here’s a challenge for you:
“Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person’s seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.”
E. Elliot
by Julia | May 19, 2016 | Foster Care, me & my jewel
Today is just a lil different than what I had imagined.. But it’s ok. I’m choosing to cherish the moments as this is what our imperfect, perfect life looks like! No, we still don’t have the ‘normal-family-life’ thing downpat, but come’on, I seriously doubt we’d be happy if we lived the American-normal. Most of the time I feel like we fit into a mold too much the way it is. Who defines ‘normal’ anyway?! lol
Being without any kids for the past 2 months we decided we’re gonna go spend a few days in Nashville for our 4th Anniversary this year. Who lives just a few hours away and hasn’t spent time touring the famous city of Nashville? Yup, that would be us! So we were getting all excited and planning what we wanted to go see….. But Dan kept holding off on making actual motel reservations, because, as he said, “what if we’d get some kids”?!
Sure enough, on Tuesday morning we were discussing that we should get our reservations made that evening and a few hours into the day. We get a phone call asking if we’d take 3 lil boys. Uh-oh. See, we’re just licensed for three. And next month is #mylilgirlie’s court to see how her trial placement with her bio Dad is going. And with not knowing the outcome we were not willing to fill up our home n not leave a space for her, just in case. So I called our placement lady (in our county) and she said she’s make a few calls. Turns out they’d gladly up our number but we’d have to get another room ready and we can’t do that without getting a storage building or adding a lean-to…(which I have been bugging dear hubby for) cuz I want to help as many as I can! So we sadly had to say no, but I felt complete peace about it. Before I hung up, she said, Oh looks like I’m getting a child into custody right now. I almost squealed, Yay, we’ll take that one! She says, It’s a baby. And I’m pretty sure I squealed for real then. We’d love to have a baby! So I had to wait to hear back, and a few hours later she said they couldn’t find a judge to sign and won’t be able to remove the child till tomorrow, but it’s a 10 month old lil boy.
Waited till mid-afternoon to finally receive the call that he’s in custody and I can come pick him up. I came into the office to hear him giggling the most deep, adorable giggle as he was playing with an FSW’s kids & just loving it. He took to me right away. Needless to say it was evening till I came home, not only a bunch of waiting and signing I had to turn around and go back for more after I was 5 min on my way home. Thanks to Lil Ceasar’s we had a relaxing eve to get him bathed and ready for bed. [Minus going thru the nastiness of a small bag of stinky clothes–needing to get Clorox as they might be contaminated from the drugs.] He did super well, took a 45 min nap and woke up after 7pm, and by 9pm and only a few tears later he was out again! And he slept till 9am!! I was just a lil freaked out and secretly delighted when I woke up during the night and the next morning and the lil champ was still soundly sleeping!
He seems to have a good mix of being a content, happy lil guy with lots of smarts and just a lil bit of temper I think… Smiles super easy and copycats alot, constantly giving me giggle fits and then he tries to laugh with me. He’s been crawling and pulling himself up, so I suppose this will be interesting if he continues to be this active! Wasn’t so keen on the baby food, but I think it was mainly the spoon thing as he loves to eat with his fingers and picks it up and handles it really well. I’m not quite sure what all is normal for a 10 month old, but he doesn’t seem to be behind at all. And is a healthy weight, coming in just a tad on the short side. His happy demeanor has earned him the web name of MrSunbeam. 
So, that brings me back to today. It’s our Anniversary and so far I’ve been to the Health Department and Walmart. It would be fine, but I keep thinking about being in Nashville and it’s just not cutting it! I know we will still go and I’m looking forward to that. I am happy, very happy tho; I know, with the timing of everything that this was meant to be- MrSunbeam here and us at home. So, I can happily be sad. [it’s true]. We’re just gonna get a babysitter tonight and go eat some yummy steaks and see if we can find anything else to do that may seem romantic [NOT grocery-shopping either!]. Mmm now my mouth is watering.
Funny story, my wedding pictures are still not in albums. I was going to scrapbook them so I never put them in an album. Now that just looks overwhelming. So maybe we’ll go get some albums and stick em in for now, beings they’re all printed. We did have such an amazing wedding and I never tire of looking at our beautiful pictures & reliving the fun, giddy feelings. No doubt the biggest piece of amazingness was in the man that I married. I was so in love and hoped like crazy it would only get better. Indeed, I am being truthful, not cliche when I say it has! He spoils me rotten and loves me dearly. I am so thankful that he is an awesome leader and provider for us that I can trust 200%. I love him like crazy and couldn’t ask for more.
Here’s a couple wedding pictures —
I got this last one made into a 16×24 canvas from Canvas On Demand for us. We like to get 1 big thing that benefits both of us for an Anniversary Gift and thought this was perfect 😉
And it’s good-bye to the birthday & balloons…Â 
